Good Things Come In Threes

Thirteen

2011-02-28T15:44:00.000-05:00

With the longer days and warmer temps, I'm back to running at my old stomping grounds. It's a 5-mile trail (packed sand and gravel) with slight hills, gorgeous scenery and clear markers at each mile. I haven't been able to run there for the last two months because it's not lighted and because there's been a ton of snow.

Yesterday's change in venue motivated me to do my longest run yet... 13 miles. The weather was perfect and the trails were pretty clean with just a few muddy spots. The last mile was fairly ugly-- I walked a little here and there... but I did make it. I ran the 5-mile loop and then ran it again up to the four-mile mark and turned around. That's 5 + 4 + 4 = 13. It was definitely a challenge.

Next week, I'm supposed to make it to 15 miles. I can't fathom that I'll be ready, but I'm willing to give it a shot. Bill's last hockey game was last night, so I'm hoping to get at least three weekday runs in this week. Maybe the extra conditioning will pay off.

I ran with the Lemon-Lime Gatorade for the first time and skipped the other fuel products (Gu Chomps/Gel). The other stuff didn't seem to be making much of a difference. The problem with these products (and the Gatorade) is that it makes me even more thirsty. My water belt holds 24 ounces and it's always all gone by the end of the long run. As a side note, my six-year-old iPod is barely holding its charge. More miles, more problems.

I just made an appointment with an orthapedic doctor at a clinic that specializes in sports medicine. My feet are killing me and I'm really worried about the dreaded p-word... plantar fasciitis. Running the length of the sole (plantar aspect) of the foot is a thin layer (fascia) of muscle. If this layer gets injured in any way, a fasciitis can be started. My feet have been hurting since last week and I basically ran through the pain yesterday.

The fascia helps to support the longitudinal arches of the foot, especially the medial (inner) arch. Anything which causes this arch to flatten or distort will have an impact on the plantar fascia. Unsupportive sneakers can have a major impact on the onset of this condition. The long arch must be supported by the shoe, both inside with arch support cushioning, and also by the inner edge of the shoe itself.

I know for a fact that I have very high arches. The customer service rep at RR sports warned me that I could develop PF without using supportive inserts. I've tried to buy "over-the-counter" orthodics inserts to support the arches-- however, none of them have fit correctly and they've caused a host of other problems. I've been running for three years without inserts, so I just hoped to continue without any problems.

I'm going to see the doctor tomorrow and I have a good feeling that he'll outfit me with some custom inserts. In the meantime, I'm hoping that he doesn't put me on the DL.

I can't imagine taking time off now that I'm so close to the end of training.

2 Weeks

2011-02-24T01:00:00.000-05:00

Two weeks have come and gone with nearly no spare time to update this blog.

I did get my two long runs in... both 11.2 miles (or seven 1.6 mile loops). Each time, I was aiming for a full 12 miles and each time I couldn't get it together for that last mile.

My weekday runs haven't been as regular as I would like. Each week, I've only gotten an additional two runs in. Each one totalling four or five miles. Bill is wrapping up the end of his coaching season, so I'm hoping to get more time to run during the week.

I've switched over to using an energy gel for my long run. I'm really not convinced that it's actually doing anything. I mean, I don't actually feel a burst or replenishment of energy. This week, I'll be replacing one of the water bottles on my belt with Gatorade. Hopefully, this will make more of a difference.

The challenge in getting to that 12 or 13 miles in the long run doesn't seem so much to be an issue of energy though. I've adjusted my pace so that I'm not out of breath and the run is, for the most part, comfortable. At the end of the tenth mile, what's really failing me is my leg muscles. My legs are just tired.

For anyone whose been keeping up with these posts, the leg pain is entirely (knock on wood) gone! Also, not a single blister since I got the new socks and Body Glide. Unfortunately, this last long run brought on some pain beneath the arches in both feet. I'm hoping this is just a temporary glitch and not another long-term issue to struggle with. It made the last mile on that long run very uncomfortable, but it didn't bother me today on my 5-miler.

Another challenge has been the wind. Over the last two weeks, the wind has been so strong and cold. Once I complete that 10th mile, my first layer is pretty soaked with sweat and the wind just freezes me. Also, running against the wind is just hard.

Last week was a big week for fundraising though. I helped out with a student council event at my school and (although the final totals aren't in as of yet) I'm hoping to have raised at least $1,000 for LLS. The students did nearly all of the work and I'm so grateful to them for their help.

My next step for fundraising is to write an email to my colleagues at work and to write a letter to the parents at Will and Liam's school. I have about $500 to go, which should be do-able. I also need to write Thank You notes to those that have already donated... this is something I've been wanting to do for a while, but just haven't been able to make the time.

And hopefully this is the week that I make it to 12 or 13 miles.

4-Run Week

2011-02-08T01:25:00.000-05:00

Last week was the first time in a while that I got four runs in.

Ran 3 miles Monday, 4 miles Wednesday, 5 miles Friday and 11 miles Sunday. That's 23 miles for the mathematically challenged.

Felt really good to train so regularly. Bill had a light week with ice hockey and the due dates for our marking period and exam grades were pushed to a week later. It was great to have the extra time.

I don't want to jinx it, but this was the best my leg has felt in a long time. It's not perfect-- still a little sore, still a little weak-- but much better.

Before this week's long run, I made another trip to RR Sports and picked up some supplies.

I Googled "blisters and marathon training" in a desperate search for a cure. Most pairs of my running socks are blood stained in spots where I've had continual problems whenever running more than 5 mi distances. In accordance with some internet advice, I tried some Body Glide (a waxy skin protectant) on the trouble areas and a new type of socks. The socks are called "Wright Socks" and they are composed of two layers so that the two layers rub against each other, thereby lessening the friction on the foot. After running the 11-mi distance on Sunday, I only had a very small blister where I didn't put the Body Glide. So hopefully, this is something I won't have to worry about anymore.

I also bought some "fuel" for the long runs. About 45 min to an hour into my long run, I'm supposed to refuel with an energy product. There were lots of different products at the store, but I settled on the Gu brand that is one of the most popular. I bought two different types-- gel form and chewable form. For this week, I decided to try the chewable "Gu Chomps" around mile number six. There were four pieces in the serving size and they are each about six times the size of a fruit snack-- they also taste exactly like fruit snacks. "Chomps" is the name of the game because it takes quite a while to chew them up and get them down. Since I don't even attempt to eat or drink while running, I ended up taking a two-minute walk break while trying to eat these things and then chase them with enough water to aid in their absorption. Next week, I'll try the gel.

I stored the fuel in my new water belt, which I'm getting more used to carrying. This week, in a brilliant move, I didn't secure the tops properly and I ended up losing a good amount of water before realizing it. This was really inconvenient considering the fact that the Chomps seem to make you really, really thirsty. Also, because it was cold and the water made my ass really, really wet. How I did not notice this immediately, I do not know.

Three Months to Go...

2011-02-01T09:10:00.000-05:00

I got three runs in this week.

A 4-mile run, a 10-mile run, and a 3-mile run.

I wish I had more time to devote to training, but I'm doing the best that I can with a full-time job, two kids and on most nights, homework.

This was the third time that I ran ten-miles this month. I carried water for the first time using a belt that I bought at Road Runner Sports. I ran a little over six 1.6-mile loops at a local reservoir and stopped for about 30 - 60 seconds at the conclusion of each lap, to take a little water and rest time. I definitely feel like I'm improving with the endurance required for such long runs. Although, I'm a little disappointed at how slow my pace has become. Based on the fact that the 10 miles takes me a little under two hours, I'm guessing that my pace is a little under an 11-minute mile. It feels more like a jog than a run. Back in my 5k days, I was running close to a 9-minute mile-- which wasn't record setting or anything-- but way faster.

I'm making an appointment with an ortho to take a look at my leg. It's still sore during the longer runs and I'm anxious to find out if there's anyway to improve the problem.

Another Week

2011-01-23T19:18:00.000-05:00

I took the week off. The whole thing. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday... You get the picture. I just didn't feel like running. Bill also had a lot of coaching commitments and I had a lot of work to do with the end of the marking period approaching.

I ran five miles on Friday afternoon. I went out at about 4:30 pm and there was still some sunlight. I did a little over four 1.6 mile laps at a local reservoir. On one side of the loop, there was tons of wind and bitter cold. On the other, there was no wind and lots of sun. So for half the run, I was sweating and warm and for the other half, I was ffffffreezing.

My leg was sore the whole time.

On Sunday, I did ten miles. After barely surviving the outdoor 5-mi run on Friday, I opted for the treadmill. Better to be bored to death than frozen to death. With the warm up and cool down, it was close to two hours. This is the second time I've run a full ten-- the first was last week.

As brutal as it sounds, it wasn't that bad. I feel like I'm conditioned enough to do this mileage-- my breathing is good and my muscles don't feel overly taxed. The soreness on my left ankle/achilles is pretty consistent and although it was a nuisance, I was able to power through it. Towards the end of the run, my right knee started to bother me, but I think its because (due to the soreness on my left) I was starting to put more weight on that side.

Aside from the physical soreness, the toughest part is mental. I mean, between a full-time job, a house and two little kids, I have almost no time to myself. Spending two full hours on a treadmill takes dedication and drive when that's your only "free time".

Ups and Downs

2011-01-18T00:33:00.000-05:00

Went to the gym again on Wednesday and managed about four miles on the treadmill. Halfway through, I hopped off to walk a little and assess the pain in my left leg. It was really more of a soreness than a pain.

I exchanged my sneakers at the store and am now running in a more neutral shoe.

On Saturday, I headed to the shore for my long run. Nine miles and it was a total bust. I measured out 4.5 miles with my car and parked. The plan was to run the 4.5 miles and then turn around and head back. After a good twenty minutes of procrastinating on FB and Twitter, I hopped out of the car and was off. Unfortunately, I was running into a very cold, strong wind. This, combined with the soreness in my leg and an uncharged iPod, made for an unpleasant one and a half miles. After thinking it over, I called it quits and jogged back to my car. With the wind at my back, this was a far easier run.

Sunday was do-over day. I found a new location-- with less wind and no snow-- and I managed a tough 9.6 miles. My leg was still sore, but again not pain exactly-- just an annoying, distracting soreness. About halfway through, I was going purely on desire. It was not fun and it certainly didn't feel good-- until it was over that is. I ran for almost two hours and as I expected, the soreness in my leg was worse a few hours later.

Starting to have second thoughts about the marathon distance. I'm not doubting that I can do it. I know that I can. Just starting to feel like I don't want to. Running for almost two hours at a clip and feeling sore all the time just sucks the fun out of something I used to enjoy.

Ow.

2011-01-10T21:49:00.000-05:00

Left achilles has been sore for two days now. Although I suppose that rest is a good idea, the pain is at its worst after not moving around for a while. Stairs are also very unpleasant.

According to the Google Gods, there are two probable causes: either the wrong running shoe or over-training (too much, too fast). I think it's a little of both-- my new kicks aren't working out and are going to be returned shortly AND I did take almost two weeks off, so jumping back into the training schedule has been tough.

I put on my old sneakers and went to the gym with the intention of doing at least a mile or two, but once I bumped the pace up past 4 mph, the pain was pretty bad.

I hopped off the treadmill and headed home with a total mileage of 0.2 miles.

Going to give it another try tomorrow.

Eight

2011-01-09T02:49:00.000-05:00

Went for an early run this morning. Tried to beat the little afternoon snowstorm and made it.

Ran eight miles along the shore. It was windy, cold and grey-- but after the first mile I was warm for the remainder of the run. There were so many people out running and the boardwalk was still full of snow and ice from the previous storm, so I was still on the road.

Before starting, my left leg was sore, but I did the run anyway. Afterwards, the soreness had turned into pain. I got home and Googled and I'm pretty sure that it's my left achilles tendon.

I'm resting for the remainder of the weekend. Taking some anti-inflammatories and using ice. Hoping the pain goes away in time for Monday's run.

Getting Back Into It

2011-01-06T02:21:00.000-05:00

Ran seven miles today. Due to the snow, was forced to run along the street. It was getting dark and tough to distinguish the wet pavement from potential ice.

Overall a better run than Sunday, but still not great. Feeling unusually sore and tired afterwards. Hoping that this is just a post-holiday slump-- too much cheesecake and Chinese food, not enough workouts.

Really need to start eating and sleeping better.

Running five on Friday and eight on Sunday.

The Break

2011-01-03T00:07:00.000-05:00

I ran almost seven miles today. It nearly killed me.

I was supposed to run on the 23rd of December. But I had presents to buy and wrap, a house to clean, kids to make ornaments with and so on. I decided that I would take a few days off and make up for it after Christmas. Then came the snow storm and house guests and before I knew it, I was two days into the new year.

I signed up for today's group run and was encouraged to try for the scheduled 8 miles. Fueled with two weeks of junk food and inactivity, I was rightfully hesitant. The weather was warm and there was a light rain half-way through, so I only made it to seven.

I was huffing and puffing and my legs and arms felt like anchors. Every step felt tough and the idea of quitting crossed my mind on many occasions.

I'm not planning on skipping any more stretches of time in my next few months of training.

Next run is scheduled for Tuesday.

December Run

2010-12-20T23:30:00.000-05:00

I couldn't do my long run yesterday. My left foot was way too sore and in need of an extra day of healing. So either I was skipping it this week or pushing it off to today.

I ended up doing it tonight. Running seven miles on a weekday isn't easy, especially after working all day.

Out of necessity, I had to stay a little late at school. By the time I got home and changed, it was almost 4:30. Driving to the beach (the only lighted area around), running the seven miles, stretching out and driving back would have taken nearly two hours when you add in time for showering and changing. I opted to eat dinner and spend some time with the kids before heading out at about 8:30. Between my running and Bill's coaching, it's not very often that we get a chance to spend the evening together.

It was about 28 degrees. As I ran along the beach, the view on one side was the ocean, beautifully illuminated by the full moon. On the other side, were the beach houses either dark and vacant or lit up with big screen televisions showing Monday night football.

Happily, this was a pain-free run. I had taken the inserts out of my shoes (haven't gotten to RRS yet) and the blisters were no longer a problem. It was freezing at first, but after the first mile I was warm enough. The wind was at my back for half the run and that was glorious. Running against the wind, on the other hand, was unpleasant to say the least.

The plan for the week is as follows: Tonight, 7 miles; Wednesday, 5 miles; Friday, 5 miles; Sunday, 8 miles. This would total 25 miles, which is LESS than the 26.2 miles I'll be running in one shot in May.

Oy.

Fa la la la argh

2010-12-19T02:59:00.000-05:00

Woke up this morning to no clean clothes and no clean silverware. Also a basement full of unwrapped gifts and a list of things left to pick up in the next week. There are weeks where I balance teaching, housework, kids and running. This wasn't one of them.

Spent the day running around the house, trying to catch up on things around here.

We had a family Christmas party in the evening (where I managed to choose the most unhealthy food options possible) and now Bill and I are up really, really late watching a really, really, really bad movie.

This should make for an interesting long run tomorrow. Planning on seven miles. Hoping that my foot is healed enough.

Blood, Sweat,...

2010-12-18T02:00:00.000-05:00

So the good news is that I have a pretty high tolerance for pain.

The bad news is that I threw a piece of my foot skin into the garbage tonight.

Bill got sick this morning and left work early. Then Will got sick at school and was sent home after lunch. I spent the afternoon getting Will settled and driving Liam to my mom's to put him into quarantine.

I spent most of the evening finishing a project two days post deadline. I was planning on skipping my run, but decided last minute to head to the gym. I did a quick three-miles on the treadmill and decided not to remove the inserts.

As usual, my feet and calves were sore with the new sneakers. However, I didn't fully realize the damage until I got home and pulled off my shoes.

I am done with 'breaking in' these shoes and heading back to the store this weekend for some help. Hard to believe that I didn't have a single pain or problem running in shoes that were nearly three years old. But now, in a pair of new ones, I'm hobbling around like a newbie.

Good Intentions

2010-12-17T02:17:00.000-05:00

No running today.

Jeans starting to feel seasonably tight, so I did spend some time thinking about getting on a better eating kick in January. Thinking about finding a good nutrition book to read over the break. Would also like to find a good multivitamin.

Blisters, Take Two

2010-12-16T02:14:00.000-05:00

Desperate to avoid a new set of blisters, I stopped at a sporting goods store on the way home from work. I sprang for the most dry-fit-high-performance-arch-supporting-left-right-specific-whatever-else-you-can-think-of socks that I could find.

Too lazy to bundle up for the cold, I opted for the treadmill tonight and ran a little over 5 miles. Since I was running on the early side, there wasn't much on television. I ended up watching Food Network where the Nealy's were getting their groove on and then Paula Dean made butter with a side of butter for dinner.

The socks were a FAIL as I got new blisters on top of my old ones as well as unusually sore calves.

I called Road Runner Sports when I got home and explained the problem with the new kicks. The woman on the phone politely suggested that perhaps two 5-mile runs were not the most gentle way of breaking them in and that I should just probably walk around in them for a few days. Brilliant... why didn't I think of that? She also told me that if the problem persisted, I could come in after a week or so and exchange the inserts for new ones.

I might pull the inserts for Friday's run and try wearing them around the house for a week or so.

Cards & Letters

2010-12-15T02:36:00.000-05:00

No run tonight.

Camped out in front of television watching Biggest Loser Finale and stuffing Christmas cards with fundraising letters.

New Kicks

2010-12-14T02:00:00.000-05:00

Ran 4.7 miles tonight on the boardwalk. Gorgeous beach houses lit up for for the holidays made for nice scenery.

It was cold, but by the end of the first mile, I was warm enough to strip off my gloves and open my jacket a little. I traded my usual knit hat for a headband, and this worked better. The wind was so strong that I had to brace myself a few times.

I was also breaking in a brand new pair of sneakers.

I had been using my past pair for almost three years and people were telling me it was time to make a switch. Last week a fellow runner, a complete stranger, paused to tell me that the most important thing in training is "good footwear". Um, point taken.

I went to Road Runner Sports for a "Shoe Dog" running analysis over the weekend. It was determined that I had very high arches and that the size I was currently wearing was too small. I was told that supporting my arches with inserts would be important to preventing injury over long distance training. So I set out on tonight's run with new sneakers and new inserts made especially for runners with high arches. (Note also the funky asymmetric laces that go up the side of the shoe.)

Overall, this was a pretty uncomfortable run. I'm used to feeling my feet flex when I run and the new shoes kept my feet incredibly rigid and stiff. By mile three, I had developed blisters on each foot where the inserts rubbed against the arches. When I finished the run, my calves were unusually sore-- probably due to overcompensating for the stiffness in my feet.

I'm tempted to remove the inserts, but I'm going to try and stick it out for a few more runs. Before my next run on Wednesday, I'm going to spring for some real running socks. I'm thinking that this might fix the blister problem. And hopefully, after some more mileage, the shoes will break themselves in a little.

Decisions, Decisions

2009-05-17T23:33:00.007-04:00

I am not a great decision maker.

For even the smallest decisions, I tend to pour over 'pros' and 'cons'. I solicit advice and consider every possible detail. I finally make a decision and then the second-guessing begins and the process begins all over again.

Being a mom, however, has forced me to speed the process up quite a bit. After all, many of the decisions required in the course of my day are split-second choices-- leaving no time for extensive deliberation.

Do I push my crying three-year-old through his swim lesson? Do I whack him on the tush when ten time-outs in a two hour period aren't doing the trick? When I discover a stinky diaper 15 minutes from home, do I stop for a change or wait? When it's 3 am and Liam hasn't slept for more than one hour at a time, do I bring him into our bed?

I was forced to make one such decision at the gym last week.

It was Liam's first time in the childcare room. The woman in charge seemed nice enough and there were only a few children in the room. I only planned on a 45-minute workout, so I wasn't too nervous about leaving him. After dropping him off, I headed to the locker room to get changed. Before hopping on a treadmill, I went to take a quick peek from a distance.

The childcare woman was in the corner on her cell phone. A boy (he seemed about 3 years old) was kneeling in front of Liam and pushing him on his forehead. Liam was smiling broadly, probably thinking this was some sort of game. The boy, equally entertained, pushed harder and harder until Liam fell backwards and began crying. This caught the woman's attention and she hung up the phone and picked Liam up.

I could have gone into the room at that moment, but I decided to take a lap around the gym and then take another look. A minute or two later, Liam was playing in an Exersaucer and he seemed content. So, I decided to workout as planned.

For the entire 3 miles, I was wondering if I had done the right thing. How many decisions do you suppose a parent makes in their lifetime? It's hard to believe that this is only the beginning.

Storybook Land 2009

2009-05-13T23:32:00.009-04:00

The pre-nursery and nursery school classes at Will's school take a trip to Storybook Land every spring. Will had a great time last year (first photo) and he's been looking forward to this trip (second photo, same kids) for the last twelve months.

This year, some of his favorite moments included riding on the big yellow bus, running through the Alice in Wonderland Tunnel, peering into all of the Storybook houses and riding the train. From the enormous selection of souvenirs in the gift shop, he selected a squishy octopus (which has absolutely nothing to do with the trip). And some of my favorite moments included watching Will participate in all of the above activities.

Will conquered some fears, mainly due to peer pressure, and he rode the Tilt-a-Whirl and Roller Coaster. As the ride operator buckled us in, he listened intently as I assured him. He clenched my arm and buried his head in the side of my chest. As each ride came to a stop he smiled and he danced off the ride yelling, "I was brave... I was brave... I was braaaaave..." This was a favorite moment.

As we were riding the balloons with Ryan, we had some interesting conversation...

Me: Whoa. What planet do you want to go to, guys?

Will: Earth!

Ryan: Atlantic City!

Me: This ride makes my belly feel funny!

Will: This ride makes my penis feel funny!

Ryan: Me too!

Another favorite moment.

But above all, I enjoyed the bus ride home. It was sunny and quiet, as most of the kids were exhausted and parents were chatting quietly. The bus windows were partially opened, letting in a warm breeze. In a nostalgic, sort of comforting way, the bus bumped, rocked and swayed along the parkway. Will played with his stretchy octopus and we talked about the day. He leaned against me and I watched as he slowly drifted off to sleep, eventually falling into my lap. I brushed his hair with my fingers and memorized the feel of his hand in mine. All the while, I was thinking about how much he had changed in the last twelve months and how quickly he's growing up. A little bittersweet, but above all, my most favorite moment.

(You wouldn't believe how difficult it was to get this photo.)

Mother's Day 2009

2009-05-11T22:39:00.003-04:00

Solo Skater

2009-05-09T23:54:00.003-04:00

Last week, Will had his first solo skating lesson-- no more "Parent & Me" classes!

Getting dressed in the lobby went as usual-- with Will jumping around and unable to sit still while Bill tried his best to get the equipment on without losing his mind. (Thankfully, my job is to supervise Liam during this time.)

As we walked into the rink (about 2 minutes after the above pics were taken), Will began complaining that he was 'too tired' and that 'his belly hurt' (which is slightly hilarious considering the above photos). Bill helped him onto the ice and about 5 seconds later he had his first wipe-out... taking down an innocent 6 year-old on the way. As the instructors helped Will to his feet, I could see that anxiety was getting the better of him.

However, unlike the 'socially retarded ass wipe' we met earlier in the week, his skating instructor was kind, patient and encouraging. Within 10 minutes time, he was skating faster and more skillfully than he had ever skated with Bill or me.

There are only two students in the class.

Fortunately, Will has always done well with older women.

At the end of the lesson, Bill and I were waiting to congratulate him on a great job. Will, however, was more concerned with our usual Sunday morning post-skating ritual...

... french fries and hot chocolate.

Incidentally, the best french fries are almost always found in ice rinks and bowling alleys. We're teaching this kid the important things in life, for sure.

Thank You General Mills!

2009-05-09T23:37:00.003-04:00

Liam sprouted not one, but FOUR teeth last week.

At his well-visit, I remarked to the pediatrician how odd it was that his side teeth were growing in before his front teeth. She replied, "Those ARE his front teeth. He'll have a gap for sure."

While this news was a bit concerning, I was too overcome with excitement to worry. Excited because we could now embark on some General Mills whole grain goodness known as Cheerios.

Good-bye to five AM fumbling with plastic bottle liners and measuring cups in one hand, while trying to quiet a hungry baby in the other-- eyes half-open and desperately needing to pee, but unable to delay the feeding for even a few moments at the risk of a screamfest.

Now, I can simply flip open a canister and drop a handful of cereal onto Liam's tray. He eagerly stretches himself towards the high chair, begging to be set down. It's amazing how much better your morning gets when you can open your eyes, empty your bladder and fill your coffee maker first thing. Not to mention the ease of preparing a bottle with not one, but two hands.

Swimming (continued) or How to Make My Shit List

2009-05-07T22:49:00.005-04:00

We returned to swim lessons on Tuesday. I thought we should give it one more try. I should have known better.

For the last week, while we were sitting together over breakfast or as I was pulling his shirt over his head, Will would ask, "Are we going swimming today?" I would say no and tell him just how many days there were until the next class. Then I would praise him and try to build his confidence.

On Tuesday morning, Will knew we were headed back to class.

At breakfast, Will complained that he was too tired. As I helped him get dressed, he whined that he didn't want to go. As I buckled him into the car, his eyes were filled with tears. As we turned into the parking lot, he was sobbing. The more upset he became, the more horrible I felt. But at the same time, I felt that not going could send some message about quitting or facing up to fears. So we went.

It was pouring out. I fumbled with a stroller, an infant, a diaper bag, and an inconsolable 3-year-old. He kept saying that he didn't want to go and as we entered the pool area he was crying. I kept telling him that everything would be okay... he would be fine. I think I was trying to convince the both of us.

I spoke to the teacher before class, explaining that Will had always loved the water and been a strong swimmer for his age/ability group. I explained that his confidence had been shaken and that he could use some encouragement and extra attention this week. I suggested that we speak at the end of the class, and if Will continued to struggle, we could switch him to a more appropriate class. She looked at Will, who had regained his composure-- but still appeared visibly upset, and asked me, "So, he's swimming today?" When I told her that he would swim, she took his hand and lead him to the pool-- without so much as a word or smile to him.

In the pool, he looked scared and shaken. He was trying to keep up, but he was just too upset. I watched as the instructor strapped a bubble to him. He looked at me and began sobbing. A few minutes later, she sat him on the edge of the pool to calm down. At this point, I was motioning to him to come to me, but he was still. I think he was afraid to move. He rejoined the class and she would intermittently sit him off to the side when he wasn't keeping up. At the end of the class, the students moved to a more shallow part of the pool where they dove for rings-- this is always Will's favorite part of class. He eagerly dove below the water to retrieve a ring and he carried it to her. She slid it up her arm, adding it to her collection without saying a word or even nodding. I watched as this happened three more times-- Will eagerly finding a ring and seeking out her approval-- she ignoring him.

She seriously made my shit list. Big time. For life.

It figures that she didn't say a word to us at the end of class.

I ended up switching Will to a different time, day and teacher. I also lowered him back to his previous level, just to build his confidence. I told him that we were switching to a class that's more fun and he asked me if he was moving 'backwards'. Then, my once confident, bubble-free, little swimmer told me that he couldn't go into the water... without his bubble.

This was a mistake. Big one. I am an ass. Big one.

Family Photos from March & April 2009

2009-05-01T22:58:00.001-04:00

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Liam's Eight Month Well Visit

2009-04-30T23:50:00.011-04:00

This was Liam at his 8-week well visit...

And this was Liam today, at his 8-month well visit...

21 pounds 2 ounces, 28.5 inches

Liam's First Tooth!

2009-04-29T16:48:00.005-04:00

This isn't the best picture, because it's barely broken through.

(You'd never see it without an extreme, drooly close-up.)

Enough Already

2009-04-29T15:37:00.007-04:00

As I've already mentioned, Will had the stomach virus last week. Five days of vomiting and diarrhea. Then, on the first day that Will started to hold down some food, Liam got sick. Today is Liam's fifth day and thankfully, he just (about a half-hour ago) kept down his first bottle since Friday evening of last week. If you do the math, that's 10 consecutive days of blaaah. The last few, especially, have been rough because Liam is not sleeping well at night. Instead, he cat naps on-and-off, all day and all night. Sleep, whine, cry, whine, sleep, whine, cry, whine, eat, vomit, whine, sleep, cry...

This morning, I came downstairs with Liam at around 5 am. He was fussy and couldn't sleep, so I made him a bottle of Pedialyte. He calmed down a bit, but didn't fall back to sleep until around 6 am-- just in time for Will to come bounding down the stairs. Will asked for fruit snacks and then television-- and I would've nodded my head 'yes' to just about anything to keep things quiet. I kept motioning to Will to be quiet, pointing at Liam, who was lightly snoozing next to me. "Mommy", Will whispered, "I want to sit there. That's my spot." (Of course, 'there' was where Liam lay sleeping.) I tried to reason quietly with Will and felt my patience slipping away as he got louder and louder. Finally, he jumped off the couch and flipped the television off as he loudly protested. Liam's eyes bolted open as he gazed around the room. I was so frustrated that, without saying a word, I ~~tossed~~ threw the remote to the floor. The back of the remote flew off and the batteries scattered across the hardwood floor. Liam started crying immediately and Will, watching from across the room, was the first to speak...

"GREAT! Now look what you did-- you woke up Liam... and you're not supposed to throw things when you're angry."

You know you've had it when you look like the three-year-old and your three-year-old sounds like the adult. I'm so ready for everyone to be healthy again and for a few good nights of sleep. Hopefully, we're on the road to recovery.

Thanks to everyone for the comments and e-mails from the last few posts. You guys are the best!

When the Going Gets Tough...

2009-04-28T15:38:00.006-04:00

Will has been taking swimming lessons since he was 9 months old. I had wanted to take a Mommy & Me class when he was a baby and we continued each season afterwards. Last session, he was a 'Blue Fish' and the class focused on practicing basic skills like kicking, paddling, going underwater, etc. The kids dove for rings, kicked across half the pool and swam through hula hoops. At the end of the last session, his instructor recommended that I move him up to the next level-- 'Sea Lion'.

Today was our first Sea Lion class. We arrived at the pool and I accompanied Will to the steps to introduce him to his teacher. Without smiling, she instructed him to get in the pool and told me that the parents were to stand behind the gate. There were two other kids in his class-- both of them were about five years old-- and they seemed to tower over Will. I watched as he swam (with flotation devices) the length of the pool, back and forth, over and over again. She had them doing various exercises-- putting their heads in the water, swimming on their backs, paddling their arms, etc. I was amazed at how well Will was doing, but I could tell he was struggling and half-way through, I could tell he was exhausted. His teacher wasn't mean, but not exactly nice either. She was down-to-business, working these kids like they were future olympians.

During the second half of the class, she had the kids jumping into the water, surfacing and then swimming the width of the pool. Will was following her instructions and keeping up okay, but he started looking more and more uncomfortable. He swallowed water a few times, was coughing, and I thought he might give up and come over to me. But ultimately, he made it through.

When the lesson was over, the teacher gave each student a high-five a sent them to find their parents. Will came over and I greeted him with a big hug and a warm towel and I told him how proud I was of him. He began bawling immediately. I kept praising him and telling him how great he did. Normally 'sailing though' swim class, he wasn't used to putting forth such an effort. He also wasn't used to such a ~~cranky-ass~~ no-nonsense teacher. All of his former teachers have been smiley, happy and encouraging and his previous lessons were more like playing and less like work.

Driving home, I was reflecting on the lesson and my options. I could leave Will in this class, return next week (after building him up and encouraging him for the next six days) and finish out the session OR I could transfer him into another class with a different instructor. While I think he might have more fun in a different class, I honestly believe that his skills will improve so much more quickly in his current class. I also think an experience like this could help 'toughen him up' a little. But then again, we signed him up for swimming so that he could become competent in the water and have fun. His competency would increase with any instructor, is it necessary to push him so hard?

I'm thinking it over. What do you think?

Ew, I know.

2009-04-26T22:00:00.001-04:00

Yesterday morning, around 6 am, Liam was cooing and gargling in his crib. As usual, he was giving me my 1-minute warning before screaming to be picked up. As I entered the room, I instantly detected a gross yet familiar smell. I looked into the crib to find him lying on his back and smiling as if nothing were wrong. The sheet beneath him had a large, dry circular stain and when I picked him up, I found that his back and head were similarly covered. He must have thrown up during the night and then fell back to sleep. Ew, I know.

Strangely though, it was a happy sight for me.

If you've been reading, you know that Will had a stomach virus less than 2 months ago. Last week, he got sick again-- same thing-- except the duration. He wasn't able to keep anything (besides some dry Cheerios and Gatorade) down for five days and he was so lethargic. Each day, he spent the entire morning on the couch, dozing on and off, and then at around 1 pm he would announce that he was ready for his nap. His toys hadn't moved in a week and he barely had any interest in what was on television. He was visibly losing weight and had absolutely no energy. Although the pediatrician told me that this could happen, five days of this had me worried...

I can't even begin to put my deepest fears in writing... What if it wasn't a stomach virus? What could it be? He washes his hands at least 30 times a day, how could he have this again!? Google, WebMd, Google, WebMd.... Aaaahhhhh....

And then came that beautiful sight on Saturday morning. Liam was sick-- not usually a good thing-- but in this case, it meant that Will probably did have a virus and he had passed it on. Yesterday Will ate some toast and banana for breakfast, played Legos on the couch all morning, then had a plain cheese quesadilla for lunch and ran an errand with Bill. He took a nap around 4 pm and woke up the next morning at 7:30 am. This was a significant improvement and today has been even better.

Hopefully, Liam's recovery will happen a little faster. Unlike his brother, he seems to really love that Pedialyte. I took a swig and can't say that I agree-- yuck.

Back to Normal

2009-04-25T13:04:00.006-04:00

Okay. I'm back. From where, you ask? Here goes...

From the beginning, March was busy, but good. Our undesired house guest (stomach virus) had been sent packing. Jillian was kicking my butt on a regular basis and I was eating and sleeping better. Tutoring was going well. The kids were doing great. The weather was improving. Things were good.

Around the middle of the month, I started feeling exhausted-- got a cold and then couldn't shake a fever for a few days. My parents came over to watch the kids so I could go to the local clinic. On the drive over, I was doing the math. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7... Seven days late. Could I be pregnant? It took us months to get pregnant with Will and Liam. I hadn't gone back on the pill, but we had been careful... kind of. I pondered whether to ask for a test at the clinic or to buy one at the drugstore on the way home. By the time I reached the clinic, I convinced myself there was no way I could be pregnant. It was the change in my lifestyle- new diet and exercise routine... or maybe the fever/virus that I had been fighting lately. Definitely no baby.

The nurse came in to take my vitals. I gave her the info... cold, fever, new routine... oh and no period. She handed me the cup. I peed and waited.

The doctor came in. I gave him the same story as he checked my ears, eyes, throat and heart. He leaned back on the counter, told me I had an upper respiratory infection and paused for what seemed like days. Then he told me I was pregnant. It was a little like the scene from Knocked Up-- except no Seth Rogen. I started crying immediately-- the kind of crying where you don't want to cry, so you keep talking and ignoring the buckets of water pouring down your face. We were discussing antibiotics and prescriptions when he asked me if I had any children. I replied 'yes', telling him I had a 3 1/2 year-old and a 7-month old. Then he made this sound: "Ooooohhhhhhh...." In my head, the translation was: 'You are so screwed'. And then I started bawling. He must have thought more carefully about his initial response, thinking it would make me feel better by telling me that 'the test was only 99% accurate'.

I drove around for a while, wallowing in self-pity and selfishness. I would get huge again. There would be heartburn, gas pain, back aches and swollen ankles. There would be no roller coasters, water slides, trampolines or rollerblading-- all things I was looking forward to doing with Will this summer. I wouldn't be able to go back to work in the Fall of 2010 as planned. My non-pregnancy clothes would be packed away for another summer. I would have two kids under the age of two next November. I stressed about Will adjusting to another baby and Liam getting so little 1-on-1 time next year. With Bill's coaching schedule, I would be home by myself most of the time. How would I ever get out of my house? How would I survive?

My funk continued for the next week or so. I made a conscious decision not to blog, Facebook, email or even return friends' phone calls until I was feeling better-- mentally and physically.

By April, things were turning around. I was finding the positives in my situation. The kids would be close in age, so they would be able to play together. All the baby clothes and toys were set up and ready to go. Will adjusted well to Liam, why not another baby? Liam would be walking by November and probably using a cup-- he'd be much more independent. Taking a few more years off from work would be okay-- I could still tutor. I was making a mental checklist-- we'd pack up the things in the den to make way for a nursery, Will would move to a booster and that would free up a carseat, we'd need another crib. I started to picture life at home with three little kids. It would be difficult at times, but it was doable. We would make it work. I thought to myself, that a few years from now, I would feel so stupid about my initial reaction that day in the doctors office.

Fast forward to my 8-week sonogram. I had the last appointment of the evening. Bill had coaching, so I was by myself. I watched as women in their first trimester left the office with their little black and white tadpole photos. Then it was my turn and I was excited to get my first glimpse. I laid on the table and the technician positioned the monitor so that we could both see. As she swept the transducer over my belly and found my uterus, I could tell instantly that there was no baby. She told me that my uterus was measuring almost seven weeks and she confirmed that there was nothing there. She suggested that I had my dates wrong. Maybe I was only 6-weeks and the baby was not yet detectable. The last doctor had left for the evening, so the technician instructed me to call the office in the morning. I knew that I had the dates right and something was wrong.

After some blood work, it was a confirmed miscarriage. Medically, this is what happened. (You can click the link.) There was no bleeding or cramping. No indication of any problems. My OB told me that my body would complete the miscarriage naturally and on it's own-- or I could opt for surgery and get a D&C. Who would opt for surgery, I wondered. She said it would happen within two weeks, as my hormone levels decreased. So I waited.

While I waited, I was feeling sad and disappointed... and a little relieved... and then massively guilty for feeling that way. I thought about my initial reaction to the news of the pregnancy and really hated myself for all of it. And I waited.

About a week and a half later, after watching some late night tv on the couch, I stood up to head upstairs to bed. There was an incredible rush of blood and a surge of cramping. After three hours of intense pain and a bathroom that could have doubled for a crime scene, we were headed to the ER. Then, after some serious pain meds, three internal exams and two more ultrasounds, I was headed home the next day, exhausted and thinking I should have opted for the surgery. Figures.

It's almost a week later and I'm slowly but surely getting back to normal.

Looking forward and glad to be back.

Instead of Writing Posts

2009-03-12T23:43:00.016-04:00

I have no idea where the last two weeks have gone. Nearly every night I grab the laptop, sit down on the couch and fight to stay awake. And I lose. And that is why this blog has been so quiet.

Bill is now coaching lacrosse six days per week. I'm doing 10 -12 tutoring appointments in four or five nights per week. I've resumed teaching SAT classes twice a week. Will is still swimming and skating. Liam turned seven months old and is starting to sit up on his own. Things around here are busy and time is flying.

Here are 25 things (in no particular order) that I've done in the last 2 weeks instead of writing posts.

1) Playing in the snow.

2) Falling asleep on the couch.

3) Reteaching myself the calculus/precalculus that I need for tutoring.

4) Getting up at 5 am to do The 30-Day Shred before the kids wake up.

5) Cooking, dishes, laundry... and repeat.

6) Making transformers out of Legos, out of K'nex, out of TinkerToys, out of blocks, out of Play-doh...

7) Ice skating with Will and Bill.

8) Checking Facebook and email.

9) Watching way too much television.

10) Getting into one of my old pairs of jeans... finally.

11) Drinking coffee.

12) Taking pictures.

13) Requesting an additional year of maternity leave from teaching.

14) Daydreaming about summer vacation.

15) Missing Bill.

16) Reminding Will to wash his hands and to stop picking his nose.

17) Changing diapers.

18) Protecting Liam from Will's 'hugs' and 'kisses'.

19) Coughing.

20) Battling Will's mystery fever.

21) Debating whether or not to call the pediatrician.

22) Singing to Liam in an effort to quell the whining.

23) Struggling to eat better and succumbing to Peanut M&Ms.

24) Searching for a new haircut.

25) Teaching Will to brush his teeth and spit with real toothpaste.

I'm OK

2009-02-28T23:36:00.002-05:00

Well, I did end up getting that stomach bug.

I woke up on Monday morning at about 3 am and was sick all day. Bill stayed home from work to watch the kids and I had to cancel all of my tutoring appointments for that evening. Tuesday was kind of a blur. I was super-low on energy, but feeling okay otherwise.

The rest of the week was spent cleaning up the house, taking care of the kids and trying to squeeze in all of the appointments that I had canceled earlier in the week.

The kids have had many highs and lows this week. At least a thousand a day. So many, in fact, that I'm way too exhausted to write a post about them.

Now I have a cold, or maybe allergies. I'm not sure. I'm coughing and sneezing and I have a low, hoarse voice-- which I think is super-sexy, but I think my husband finds annoying.

I hope to write more this week, but for now, here are some photos from the last two months. Many were meant for posts that went unwritten.

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

My Bad

2009-02-22T22:33:00.004-05:00

Yesterday evening, as I was weaving through the crowd at the ice arena, I was thinking of all the mistakes that I have made as a parent. There was the time I brought Will to Great Adventure on a sunny, 95 degree day, while 8 months pregnant. Then there was the time I fed Will an entire bottle of milk less than a half-hour after Mommy & Me swim class. There was also the time I was halfway down our street when Will reminded me that I hadn't fastened his seat belt. Also, the time when I was so frustrated with Will picking his nose that I told him that his brains were going to fall out. (Each of those stories could have made for some interesting posts.) However, as I was weaving through the crowd last night, one hand holding onto Will's and the other carrying a plastic bag full of his vomit, I was pretty much thinking that tonight was my biggest screw up to date. .

A few hours earlier, I was rushing to make dinner. Bill was upstairs, getting ready to coach his hockey game. Will and I had plans to take Liam to grandma's, so that we could go to the game, just the two of us. This was the semi-final round for conference hockey and it was a pretty big deal. In addition to making dinner, I had to get both kids ready, pack Liam's diaper bag, drop Liam off at grandma's and drive to the arena-- hopefully making it there early enough to get two seats. Will was complaining, on-and-off, that his stomach was bothering him-- but he was still running around and playing as usual. I had my back to him when he entered the kitchen, announced that he didn't feel so good and then threw up all over the floor and his sock-covered feet. I drained the pasta, threw a roll of paper towels at the mess and then carried him upstairs to clean him up.

It was decided that we weren't going to the game. Then, as Bill and I were eating dinner, Will was running around and back to his old self-- telling us his belly felt better and that he wanted to go to the game. And the truth of the matter is that I wanted to go to the game.

So we went to the game. We were there for 1 1/2 periods before Will got sick.

I cleaned him up, carried him back to the car and we headed home. I gave him a bath, put him in his pjs and introduced him to the 'puke bucket'. We cuddled in my bed (photos above) until Will fell asleep-- but not before the bucket was put to good use a few more times.

Tonight, the good news is that Will is feeling 100% better and Bill won his game and is on to the finals. Now, I'm just hoping that karma doesn't wack me with this stomach bug as a payback for dragging my poor, sick kid to the game.

Playing... finally.

2009-02-19T08:39:00.007-05:00

As we prepared to bring Liam home from the hospital, we weren't sure how a baby brother would affect Will. Would he be jealous? Would he regress? Would he harm (intentionally or unintentionally) the baby? We weren't sure.

As usual, all of that worrying was for nothing. When we brought Liam home, only one thing changed. After months of trying, Will was potty trained within two weeks. (He didn't want to wear diapers like the baby.) And that was it.

He didn't want to help bathe, change or feed Liam. It would take tons of convincing for him to get close enough to pose with him in a picture. He went on with things as usual, completely ignoring the new addition to our family. No jealousy, no hostility, no interest-- whatsoever.

Here it is, six months later, and the two have definitely warmed up to each other. They compliment each other naturally-- Will gets to be the center of attention and Liam gets tons of entertainment. As a matter of fact, Liam's fussiest time of day is when his big brother is napping.

The other day, after finishing breakfast, I went into the kitchen to clean up a little. Liam and Will were still at the table. I could overhear Will and I sensed that he was up to something.

"What are you doing to Liam?", I asked.

"Anything....", Will replied.

(He confuses the words 'anything' and 'nothing'.)

"We're just playing, mom."

So... they're finally "playing"... well, sort of.

"Are we being punked?"

2009-02-15T21:48:00.004-05:00

Visiting public places with an infant is always an adventure. One thing that I've noticed, in particular, is how different people react to a baby.

Some people seem annoyed. When Will was a baby, we were at a men's league hockey game. I was on my own, as Bill was playing in the game. I needed to keep getting up and down for various reasons-- going into the diaper bag, picking up a dropped toy, adjusting the baby seat. A guy sitting behind me, yelled at me to sit down. I was pretty proud of myself for turning around and telling the guy to go park his ass somewhere else. The arena was practically deserted-- there were hundreds of empty seats all around and the tickets were without seat numbers.

Some people seem indifferent. A few months ago, I was on a long line at Target. Liam was hungry and screaming. Will was tired and getting into all kinds of trouble. We didn't have too many items and I was hoping someone might be nice enough to let us skip ahead in line. No such luck. Not even a sympathetic glance.

Some people seem delighted. Before Peapod, when I would visit the grocery store, some people would take the time to smile and talk to the baby. Sometimes this exchange would be quick and pleasant, but at other times it would get rather uncomfortable. Some people-- complete strangers-- would hold the baby's hand or rub the baby's cheek. Although I never said anything, this would always make me feel a little uneasy.

However, none of these experiences quite prepared me for yesterday's encounter.

We had lunch at a local hibachi restaurant for Valentine's Day. We arrived at around 2 pm and the restaurant was pretty empty. We had purposely chosen a time after lunch, but before dinner. After the food was prepared and while we were eating, one of the servers approached. I was balancing Liam on my knee and she asked, in broken English, how old he was. Then, without saying a word, she stretched out her arms to hold him. I guess that I was completely caught off guard, because in retrospect, I don't think I would have handed him over. But I did. I handed my six month old to this complete stranger.

He was smiling and content and she stood in front of me holding him. It was a little awkward, but it seemed fine. Then she turned her back to us and started walking away. She started weaving in and out of the tables and heading towards the back of the restaurant. I looked at Bill and the people dining across from us looked at me. I let out a nervous laugh and asked Bill if he thought we were being 'punked'. She kept going. I was on the edge of my seat. Should I get up? Go get him? They were now in the back of the restaurant and I wasn't sure if she was going to head through the doors into the kitchen.

Just then, she turned around and came back. Flooded with relief, I grabbed the camera and took this picture. As I snapped the photo, Bill said, "You're totally going to put this in your blog, right?"

Right.

Now how about leaving a comment? What would you have done?

(You can just fill-in your name where the form says "Name/URL"... You don't need an account!)

Valentine's Day 2009

2009-02-14T21:35:00.003-05:00

We made these hearts a few weeks ago, when we were decorating for Valentine's Day. We all made our own, except for Liam, of course. I finally realized that 'Liam' is 'mail' spelled backwards. Should I have noticed that before?

We started off this morning with a 'treasure hunt' of sorts. We had bought Will a few gifts and we hid them in the upstairs bathtub. We hid 10 clues around the house and he followed them, one-by-one, in order to find the 'treasure'. The first one read... "This is the first of many clues. Go to where you keep your shoes." He ran to the coat closet and found another... "You don't need to run very far, the next clue lies in Liam's car." Will had a great time-- we followed him around the house as he ran from room to room. I was worried that 10 clues might be too much, but he could have easily handled twice as many.

After the treasure hunt, we had breakfast-- chocolate chip pancakes with bananas and scrambled eggs-- and then headed to swimming lessons. When we arrived home, a package was waiting on the doorstep. Bill had ordered a Woody doll (from Toy Story) through Ebay. Although we hadn't planned on using it as a Valentine's gift, we decided to let Will open it. He was thrilled and the two were inseparable throughout the day.

He even accompanied us to our lunch at a local hibachi restaurant. The restaurant has a 'wishing fountain', where people can toss coins. On the way out, I handed Will some change. Before he threw the coins, Bill reminded him to make a wish.

"I love mom", he said, as he threw the coins into the water.

And that was my favorite Valentine's gift this year.

Be Mine, Valentine.

2009-02-10T23:50:00.002-05:00

Today, Will and I put together Valentines for his classmates. His party is Friday and that puts us... 1, 2, 3... THREE days ahead of schedule. This is a new record.

Last year, I was four months pregnant and working full-time. I had picked up some Valentines on the day before the party, on my way home from work. Minimal time and energy left me sitting at the dining room table, late that evening, putting them together on my own. I had wanted Valentine-making to be a special memory for Will and I promised myself that this year would be different.

We started working as soon as Liam went down for his morning nap.

Will was excited to pick out a special Valentine for each classmate.

His BF, Russell, got the first one.

Will insisted on signing his name and decorating the package just so.

If you haven't figured it out, there's a volcano in the bottom corner and lava everywhere.

And blue hearts... "because Russell is a boy".

After Russell's was finished, Will decided he didn't want to make any more Valentines.

Especially when he learned that he would be writing his name 14 more times.

He streamlined the design process in order to speed things up a bit.

The finished 15, although we might add more stickers tomorrow.

Notice that Natasha has plenty of stickers.

When I asked Will why, he replied, "Because I love her."

Simple and sweet.

Next on the agenda, cookies for the class party... still deciding whether to bake or buy.

Liam's Six Month Well Visit

2009-02-07T23:33:00.004-05:00

Liam turned six months old on Friday. I snapped this shot at his well visit this week. For some reason, it reminds me of Austin Powers... "Oh, Behave!"

This is his favorite position, with his knees pulled into his chest. He already has better abdominal muscles than his mommy.

He is 26 1/4 inches, 19 pounds and growing by the second. We tried sweet potatoes and sweet peas for the first time this week and even with solids, he is still eating every three hours during the day. Thankfully, he is sleeping from about 8:30 pm until 7:00 am. Although he still hasn't rolled over completely yet, he is beginning to balance well enough to sit almost independently.

His huge appetite is matched only by his huge personality. While sitting on my lap at the pediatrician's office, he made eye-contact with each person-- broadly smiling and soliciting their undivided attention.

In addition to eating and flirting, his other main interest lies in his big brother, Will, who can make him laugh like no other. Will, the consummate entertainer, never disappoints-- and like his baby brother, also happens to thrive on undivided attention.

Super Will Sunday

2009-02-03T21:47:00.010-05:00

Will and Dad played football in the morning.

Will continued to run around at home.

Liam watched Will.

Daddy tried to watch the game.

"If the Cardinals get a touchdown, then the Steelers get a field goal,

then the Cardinals get a safety, then we win $250 dollars... huh?"

Will's Super Bowl Feast:

3 Bagel Bites, 200 chips, a bowl of sour cream & onion dip and chocolate milk.

Legos kept Will busy for most of the game.

Thank you Legos.

We can never have enough Legos.

Halftime.

"For the next 12 minutes, we're going to bring the

righteous power of the E Street Band into your home..."

Unfortunately, I stopped taking photos at halftime.

I should have gotten one at 10:30 pm as we were putting Will to bed.

He made it through the entire game and he was still smiling...

despite the fact that his 'red team' lost.

I 'pwomised'.

2009-01-31T23:35:00.009-05:00

Kitchen table. 10:15 pm.

It was a pretty long day. I took the kids out for the day, tutored in the afternoon, then had the kids again in the evening while Bill went to his hockey game. At 7 pm, it seemed like Liam was fading fast. I fed him his bottle and he was drifting off in my arms. As his eyes began to close, Will bounded into the room, loud and full of energy.

To make a long story short, I promised (pwomised) him that we would make an art project (pwoject) as soon as Liam was in bed for the night. In exchange, Will would play quietly on his own until I was ready.

Liam was sleeping upstairs by 7:30. I came downstairs, loaded the dishwasher and helped Will clean up his toys. As I was taking out the markers, scissors, paper, stickers, etc, we heard Liam crying on the monitor. He was wide awake and fussy. He cried, on and off, for the next hour-- making it impossible for me to work with Will, who went back to his toys.

Finally, by 9 pm, Liam was back in the crib and sound asleep. Will was standing outside of his little brother's room, reminding me in a whisper (as much as a 3-year-old can whisper) that it was time to 'make the awt pwoject'. (Will's bed time is normally 9 pm. This may seem late, but he takes a lovely 2 - 3 hour nap each afternoon.)

So we headed downstairs. I considered convincing him that we would do it tomorrow and that it was too late-- but he had been so good that I decided to keep the promise. Even more so, I was just too exhausted to construct an argument persuasive enough to win him over.

Here is the finished product, along with my favorite night owl who, will hopefully sleep-in tomorrow.

Note to Self

2009-01-29T23:21:00.006-05:00

For future reference:

Leave no clean, folded laundry unattended.

Slush Day

2009-01-28T23:14:00.006-05:00

The phone rang around 4:30 am with news that Bill had a snow day. We learned, later in the morning, that Will's school was open. We looked outside and noticed that the snow was melting quickly and probably wouldn't stick around for long. We called Will out of school, ate pancakes and headed outside.

Although Will didn't go to school, he did learn a new word.

Slush.

Holy Moley.

2009-01-25T23:15:00.008-05:00

"Honey, this is going to be a cosmetic procedure... it doesn't need to come off."

"Yes, but my grandfather had skin cancer..."

"This is definitely benign."

"... and it's doubled in size over the last couple years..."

"You've had children. It's hormones."

And so went my third consultation with a dermatologist in the last couple of years. Same conversation, different doctor. However this time, I finally decided to get the mole below my mouth removed. The doctor took a few moments to outline the surgery on my face with a black marker. Then, before actually performing the surgery, he sent me back out into the crowded waiting room/reception area to pay the $450 out of pocket for a 'cosmetic' (not covered by insurance) procedure.

I never saw myself as a candidate for any type of cosmetic surgery. As I've gotten older, I have begun to feel more comfortable in my own skin. Luckily, the minor issues I have can be cured with a few months on Weight Watchers, a Miracle Bra, the right pair of jeans and some routine waxings. The one exception has been this mole.

This insecurity began in high school, as do most insecurities I guess. I was at Great Adventure with a couple of friends and we were waiting on line for some ride. I remember that it was insanely hot and sunny. I was chatting with my then-boyfriend and in the middle of the conversation he felt it appropriate to burst out laughing and tell me that I had hair growing out of the mole on my face. Now, I could have shot back a comment about his massively bad acne problem, but instead I covered my face in horror. I laughed it off and went on with the day-- but to my 15-year-old self, this was earth shattering and an insecurity was born. As years went by, it only got worse.

Part of me is annoyed that I succumbed to the insecurity and got this procedure-- that I had what felt like a thousand stitches in my face this week-- that I spent a rare surplus in our bank account on something so nonessential... and painful.

But another part of me is relieved that, when I bend down to talk to my three-year-old, he will no longer push on my mole and yell, "Beeeeeeeeeep!" at the top of his lungs.

And yes, it feels as bad as it looks.

The Ice Sculpture

2009-01-17T22:55:00.009-05:00

When I saw Will's latest art project, I knew it would be trouble. As I arrived to pick him up for school, it was sitting in his cubby. Broken pieces of styrofoam held together by toothpicks-- they were calling it an 'ice sculpture'. One of my arms was struggling with the 25-pound baby carrier and the other was juggling Will's lunch box, my purse and the book he wanted to borrow from the school library. Add one ice sculpture to the list as we struggled up the stairs and out into the 18 degree weather.

After school we were headed to a local pro shop to get Will some hockey equipment. Will got his first pair of skates and gloves. (Helmets were out of stock-- just one more thing to add to the weekend to-do list. Awesome.)

We finally arrived home and I couldn't wait to get inside. I assessed the situation and made a plan. I left the car running while I brought in the garbage cans, checked the mail, unlocked the door and carried in the hockey purchases. I went back outside, opened Will's door, undid the straps of his carseat and instructed him to go inside.

"Carrrry meeee....", he whined.

I explained that I could not carry him and told him again to go inside.

"Carrrry meeeeee....", he whined again with a greater sense of urgency. He was slumped against the dirty, salt-covered mini-van with a runny nose and tired eyes-- definitely in need of a nap.

I was tired too-- too tired to repeat myself. I went around to the other side of the van to unload Liam and the diaper bag, lunch box, purse, book and... ice sculpture.

Will was now crying.

I came around the van and was headed towards the door-- the carrier in my left arm and everything else piled in my right. Then came a gust of freezing wind, which sent the ice sculpture rolling down the driveway. So I put everything down, chased down several pieces of styrofoam, then picked everything up and headed towards the door. It was quiet.

Had Will stopped crying?

No.

Was he outside?

No.

Why is the door shut?

He didn't.

Why is the door locked?

He did!

It was so fricking cold. The keys were stuffed inside the diaper bag and my hands were full. I was trying to knock with my elbows... trying to stay calm... trying to see the humor in this... thinking, "oh, in a few hours you'll be laughing at this". About twenty seconds went by. Then I was kicking the door, biting my tongue and trying to stay calm. About twenty more seconds went by. No sign of Will. I put Liam down and dropped everything else. I was seething. I jammed my hand into the diaper bag, fished out the keys, and unlocked the door. Will was inside, safe and warm, sitting at his train table in his coat and hat-- grinning at me from ear to ear. While outside, a small part of me thought that this might be a mistake on his part, that he locked the door by accident-- but that look of self-satisfaction on his face sent that 'small part' of me packing.

Needless to say he was undressed and in bed for nap in record time.

And then I went back outside for the ice sculpture.

The Defamation of Daddy

2009-01-14T11:08:00.007-05:00

Mondays through Thursdays are generally pretty hectic around here. This week, for example:

Monday: Bill works late and gets home at 5 pm. I leave for tutoring at 5:05 pm.

Tuesday: Bill works, then has hockey until 7:45 pm. I leave for tutoring at 8:00 pm.

Wednesday: Bill works, has a dept meeting and gets home at 4:45 pm. I leave for tutoring at 5:30 pm.

Thursday: Bill works, then has hockey practice until 6:15 pm. I leave for tutoring at 6:30 pm.

Bill teaches full-time and then coaches ice hockey. I tutor Sundays - Thursdays and lately I've been booking about 8 - 10 appointments each week. I usually get home around 10 pm during the week.

On most afternoons, I try to make dinner and/or bathe the kids before I leave. However, Bill juggles the bedtime routines on his own. Both kids are usually sleeping when I get home and only Liam is awake when Bill leaves for work the next morning.

Last week, Liam had a particularly fussy night and I got home just as Bill was tucking Will in for the night. I went upstairs to say goodnight and I had asked Will what he did that night. He played Transformers and trains, wrestled with Daddy, watched "WowWowWubbzy", etc. I asked him if Daddy helped him brush his teeth. His eyes opened wide as he realized that he forgot and he answered, "Daddy didn't brush my teeth."

Trying to be funny, I used my "mom voice" and turned to Bill, who was standing in the doorway. "Daddy... you didn't brush Will's teeth? You didn't brush Will's teeth?!"

Will thought that this was hilarious and quickly added, "...and now I'm going to get cavities, mom!"

So we brushed and I told Will that if mommy or daddy ever forgot, that it was his job to remind us.

This week, Will has this new routine that we go through every morning. When Will wakes up, he puts his arms around my neck and spills the imaginary beans on his dad.

"Mommy, Daddy didn't brush my teeth..."

"He didn't?"

"And he didn't give me dinner..."

"No?"

"And he didn't play with me or help me go potty..."

"Really?"

"And he didn't read to me or tuck me in..."

"What?"

It goes on and on like this until Will runs out of ideas. Then I get him to confess that Daddy actually DID do all of these things and that he was "just kidding" (which is Will's excuse for a lot of the trouble he gets into lately).

Part of me thinks I should have this big discussion about telling the truth, but another part of me thinks it's so cute. My poor, tired husband's take on the cuteness of this issue? Not-so-much.

Catching Up with Six Things

2009-01-11T22:23:00.019-05:00

Last Monday, my resolutions kicked in. I started Weight Watchers and greatly reduced my coffee intake. I kept the television and computer off for most of the day and spent more time playing with the kids. Instead of falling asleep on the couch in the evenings, I started going to bed at a decent hour. And the result? A more patient and well-rested mom with happier kids who is down a few pounds and suffering from a slight headache due to sugar withdrawal. Also, a blog that hasn't been updated in about a week.

For a quick update, here are six things I would've written about over the last six days, if I would have had the time and energy.

1: Playdate at Chrissy's house. Will and I both met some new friends at a fun playdate. Chrissy made the most incredible sandwiches (chicken salad with apples on raisin bread... who knew?). Considering it was his first time meeting a lot of new kids, Will played pretty well. Proud mommy-moments included watching Will share, be polite and be kind to babies. Not-so-proud mommy-moments included watching Will make guns out of Legos, jumping off the ottoman and trying to pull the Thomas tent as it was full of other little kids.

2: "Are you kidding me?" Apparently, I say this a lot. I think this is my 'frustration phrase', reserved for times when I'm feeling stressed or irritated. For example, as we're running late for nursery school, when both kids are bundled and loaded into their carseats on a 20 degree morning and Will announces that he has to 'go potty right now'. Or when I've just finished bathing and feeding Liam, and he's finally drifting off to sleep, I hear the distinct sound of a diaper being dirtied. Are you kidding me? Now, it seems Will has adopted this seemingly harmless phrase.

"Will... come sit down for breakfast."

"Mom, are you kidding me?"

"Will... no more television."

"Mom, are you kidding me?"

"Will... time for a nap."

"Mom, are you kidding me?"

This is now his retort for any request he doesn't find pleasurable. He uses this pointedly annoyed tone and usually accompanies the phrase with a loud, deep sigh. Do I do that? Yep. Uh oh... Note to self: Omit 'sucks' and 'crap' from daily vocabulary before it's too late!

3: Liam's 5-month well visit. Liam had a well visit last Monday. He is 26 inches and he weighs 17 pounds 10 ounces. He got 2 shots and 0 tears-- He was happy and cooperative throughout the entire visit. I think he likes all the attention.

4: Twister. We got Will a few new games for Christmas. His favorite, by far, is Twister. When he plays with mom, it's just Twister. When he plays with dad, it becomes a wrestling match.

5: Melanee's First Birthday Party. We went to the party as a family and had a great time. Bill and I enjoyed great food and conversation. Will and Brodee made guns out of legos, ran and chased each other, destroyed the ball pit and tortured a poor 16-month old. Liam discovered shiny, mylar helium balloons. Like I said, great time.

6: Will's First Skating Lesson. Will and dad had their first 'Parent and Tot' skating lesson. Will did great. He's one of the youngest out there and he made lots of improvement in the first week. I met Bill and the kids at the rink, because I was coming from a tutoring appointment. Bill got both kids ready and dressed Will in a matching outfit. The pictures are priceless.

Holiday Photos

2009-01-05T23:50:00.002-05:00

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Nine in Nine

2009-01-01T23:35:00.001-05:00

Resolutions, shmesolutions.

I don't usually make New Years Resolutions. This is because I make resolutions almost everyday. I usually get up in the morning and set some kind of goals. For example, I might say to myself, "Today I'm going to _______." This blank could be filled in with a number of different things-- avoid junk food, go to sleep earlier, remain calm, go for a run, read a book. Unfortunately, I'm a great goal-setter and a not-so-great goal-getter. But thankfully, tomorrow's always another day and a chance to do better.

So being that this is 2009: The Year of the Mom, here are nine major goals that I plan on accomplishing in the next year.

1) Read at least a dozen books.

2) Learn at least four new piano pieces.

3) Run a 5K.

4) Fit (comfortably) back into my pre-baby clothes.

5) Knit a hat for Liam.

6) Take a short (at least 2-night) vacation with Bill.

7) Quit biting my nails.

8) Find and serve on a volunteer community service project.

9) Edit/organize all of the video and photo footage we've accumulated in the past three years.

Playground Haiku

2008-12-30T15:21:00.009-05:00

December Sunday.

Warm windy playground partners.

Watch me! Catch me! Fun.

One in a Million

2008-12-28T22:06:00.006-05:00

Bill and I make a pretty good team. We have different strengths and experiences, and as a result, we compliment each other. We disagree, from time to time, on minor issues. For example: Is the Simpson's Halloween Special appropriate for a 3-year-old? Does string cheese and chocolate milk make a nutritious breakfast? Could the Bumbo double as a bath seat for a 4-month-old in the bathtub? When trying to leave a toy store in the middle of the day, is it appropriate to try and convince your child that the store is 'closing'?

Lately, we're trying to come up with creative ways to get Will to comply. Bedtime has become one such issue. Up until recently, we would announce 'bedtime' and Will would happily trot up the stairs for a bath, a book and bed. Then all of a sudden, he began to whine and sulk and protest. So Bill came up with an idea. And I admit, there was a lot of eye-rolling and skepticism on my part. This is what Bill told Will: "Lay down and try to go to sleep. We'll come up in five minutes. If you're not sleeping when we check on you, then you can come downstairs and play."

Who would have thought that this actually works? But it does. Will has never called down from upstairs, asking for us to come check on him, and he doesn't complain nearly as much about going to bed. And it's so simple. He just falls asleep. Here I was trying to explain to Will that he needed to get sleep in order to grow and get more energy. Let me tell you, that just did not fly.

Bill is a great dad. He 'races' Will to see who can eat more broccoli first and he hums "Tom's Diner" to Liam when he's fussy. He already knows how to transform all of the Transformers that Will got for Christmas (this is harder than it sounds) and he takes turns getting up early with the kids on days off. He is one in a million.

Twas the Day After Christmas...

2008-12-26T23:38:00.007-05:00

Okay, so I know it looks like we went overboard this Christmas. But honestly, we just bought a lot of small things. Organizing and finding a place for everything has become a true challenge. The toys are taking over.

We are still celebrating Christmas and visiting different family members over the next couple of days. Once we've seen everyone, I promise a great post/synopsis.

Will has been thrilled with seeing family members and opening all of his gifts. The only disappointment that I can recall was with the Optimus Prime slippers that Bill bent-over-backwards to find. Will thought that slippers were soft shoes that allowed you to 'slip' (or skate really) all over the floors in our house. After wearing them for about five seconds, he concluded that they 'didn't work' and he hasn't touched them since. As for Liam, we recycled a lot of Will's old toys from when he was a baby. We just unpacked them and wrapped them up. Neither Will nor Liam seemed to mind. We thought Will might notice, but he was just way too busy opening his own gifts to care.

Hope you had a great Christmas!

Photographer in the Making

2008-12-23T23:57:00.001-05:00

I bring my camera everywhere these days-- walks to school, grocery store, pediatrician, department store, playdate, bagel shop, family outings. Where we go, it goes-- tossed in the diaper bag, crammed into my purse, stuffed into the front pocket of my ski jacket. I consciously try not to be annoying or obsessive, but I am always taking pictures and I'm always trying to convince Will to "just hold still for one minute" and "please put your tongue in your mouth". Lately, in order to get a few shots of Will, I must first make a bargain. I get to take a few pictures, then Will gets to take a few pictures. (Why is everything a negotiation these days? I feel like I'm on some toddler version of 'Let's Make a Deal'.) In any case, he's actually getting better at taking good photos. Before long, I might be able to post some everyday shots of Liam and I courtesy of Will. Here are some of Will's recent shots:

First Attempt

Best Shot (Ninth Attempt)

Self-Portrait

Three Christmas Miracles

2008-12-21T09:34:00.014-05:00

(Between Christmas shopping, Christmas cookies, Christmas cards, Christmas parties, Christmas decorating, and Christmas art "pwojects", there hasn't been much time for posting new entries. I have lots of pictures of various holiday events, however I'm saving them for a slideshow after Christmas.)

So back to this post...

A miracle is defined as an extremely outstanding or unusual event, thing, or accomplishment. So here's a quick post regarding three recent miracles at our house.

1: Liam's Four Month Well Visit

Liam's recent well visit went well. He's around the 50th percentile for height and weight and everything is going smoothly. (I misplaced the sheet of paper on which I wrote his exact stats, so I'll have to come back and update this later.) At the beginning of the visit, the doctor was asking me about milestones and whether Liam was rolling over yet. I told him that although he is doing better on his tummy and holding his head up for longer periods of time, he hasn't rolled over yet. Then, as I was backing away from the table so the doctor could start the exam, Liam decided to roll... nearly right off the table. Dr. Lipp, who was closer, actually made the grab.

2: Cara's Cookie Exchange

With teachers assigning final tests and quizzes before the upcoming holidays, my tutoring schedule has been very busy. I had eight appointments last week and was out of the house on four different evenings. I had committed to a holiday cookie exchange with some friends for Thursday morning. Liam, who hasn't been napping much during the day, made it nearly impossible for me to bake during the day-- so I knew that I would have to wait until evening. Since I was tutoring every night, I figured Wednesday would be as good as any other for the "big bake off". Did I mention that besides Pilsbury pre-made cookie dough, I have never baked a cookie in my life? I did manage to find a semi-homeade recipe, but I also needed to make 9 dozen cookies. I started baking at about 10:30 pm and finished cleaning and packing everything up at about 3 am. Yes, better time management is on my long, long list of new year's resolutions.

3. Will's Christmas Gift

Jinkies! We got the last one! There was only one set of Scooby Doo action figures left on the shelf at Toys R Us. We were there at the right time and grabbed it, along with the Mystery Machine. Will, who has always been facinated with 'spooky' things, can't get enough Scooby Doo-- and I really don't mind, because unlike Transformers or Max & Ruby, it's a show I actually enjoy watching. Although we Santa got him a ton of gifts this year, I know that he's going to be so excited about this one.

So how about you... any Christmas miracles at your house?

What? Why? When? Where? Who?

2008-12-16T23:19:00.004-05:00

What was I thinking when I committed to a cookie exchange when I have tutoring every night this week and a teething baby attached to my hip during every waking hour?

Why am I on the computer when I should be writing out Christmas cards, doing laundry or hey, baking cookies?

When will I get motivated enough to eat right, exercise and finally fit into my pre-baby clothes?

Where can I find a temporary, decent-looking hairstyle that will allow me to grow out these funky layers?

Who wants to babysit on Friday night so Bill and I can finish our Christmas shopping?

Expecting the Unexpected

2008-12-14T22:47:00.009-05:00

Last week, the weather here was just horrible. Rainy, windy, cold, then warm, then cold again. We spent the entire week indoors. Finally, on Friday, the sun came out and despite the cold, it was a beautiful day. I had (or so I thought) a great idea.

We hadn't walked to or from school in over a week. (The photo at left shows our walk on a nice day in September.) Every morning, Will would ask if we could walk and I would have to console him as I explained why we couldn't. On Friday, I bundled up Liam and we headed to school to surprise Will with a walk home. As I entered Will's classroom, he was sitting cross-legged on the floor, reading and waiting for me. He jumped up and gave me a hug as Will's little friends circled Liam in his carrier. (Liam is like a rockstar at Will's school.) Will said goodbye to everyone as we put on his coat and headed outside.

"Where's the caaaaarrrrr?", he whined, as he saw the stroller parked next to the door.

"There's no car. We're walking home, honey." I could sense the impending drama. Here it comes.

"Nooooooooooooo. I don't want toooooo."

He spent the rest of the walk whining and complaining and begging me to pick him up and carry him. I continued to push the stroller home, as fast as I could, all the while planning the fastest way to get Will into bed for a much needed nap. Much needed... for me that is.

Fortunately, the "unexpected" works both ways.

In the past, I've always recruited Bill to accompany us for Christmas pictures. From getting Will washed and dressed, to getting his cowlicks glued down, to getting him to smile and cooperate... I always thought about 'safety in numbers' and two against one is always safe, right? This year, once again, it was two against one, but this time the odds were not in my favor. Rather than wait two weeks for an evening appointment, I scheduled the photos for a morning when Bill was at work.

I expected Will to be uncooperative and Liam to be fussy. I expected Will to refuse to wear the sweater and I expected Liam to cry or spit up on his outfit. I expected Will to make silly faces or break a prop and I expected that Liam would need a bottle or a diaper change as soon as it was time for our appointment to begin. What I got was, of course, the unexpected. Will was great. He was completely agreeable (before, during and after) and the photographer commented on how wonderful he was. Liam was happy and he delivered smile after smile, completely on cue. For weeks, the anxiety of this appointment had been building and ultimately, it went off without a hitch. Here are some of the photos...

These days are filled with highs and lows, successes and failures... and almost always, the unexpected.

Photos from Will's Trip to NYC

2008-12-11T23:07:00.000-05:00

Pee and Patience

2008-12-10T00:05:00.008-05:00

Will has been diaper-free since August. He's been sporting his Cars/Diego/Buzz/Thomas "big boy" underwear morning, noon and night. In these last four months, we haven't had a single accident. Not one. That is, until today.

Both of my kids were sleeping this morning, as I prepared to take a quick shower. Just as I was about to turn on the water, I heard Will calling me. I suggested that he hop into my bed and watch television while I showered. He hopped out of his bed, and into mine, as I was flipping through the kids' channels.

"Mommy, your bed is wet."

I checked under the covers and realized that Will was soaked-- and so were my sheets and mattress cover. I was shocked and struggled to be patient and reasonable. I kept asking him, "Why?".... as if he would have some kind of rational explanation. He didn't have much to say as I dragged him to the tub for a bath.

I got him dressed and checked on Liam, who was still sleeping, but beginning to stir. I told Will that he would have to wait on his bed while I took my shower. I lifted him onto the bed and suddenly realized that his bed was wet. (I think it went something like this... "Aaaaaaaahh!") I could feel my patience slipping away. I realized that Will had actually wet his bed and then trucked his little wet butt across the hallway to do similar damage to mine. (As if my basement isn't already full of laundry.)

"I'm not upset that you had an accident, but I'm upset that you didn't tell me. Why didn't you tell me? Why did you get into my bed if you were wet?" Again, foolishly hoping for a rational explanation as I stripped his bed and realized that the urine soaked right through the cloth mattress cover. By now I could hear Liam fussing as he was waking up. Within minutes, he would be crying to be picked up, changed and fed. I sat Will on the floor with a pile of books and headed into the bathroom. I was determined to take that shower and hoping that a few minutes to myself might calm my growing frustration.

By the time I was finished with the shower, Liam was screaming. I threw on some sweats, scooped him up and headed downstairs with Will. Due to the screaming, I opted to feed him right away. As he finished his bottle, I put him in his infant chair and ran upstairs to grab a set of the dirty sheets so that I could start the laundry-fest. Then I was making coffee and chocolate milk and loading the dishwasher and starting breakfast... Finally, I realized that I had forgotten to change Liam.

I picked Liam up, only to realize that his diaper had leaked up his back-- saturating his onesie, his pjs, and his chair.

I guess good things aren't the only things that come in threes. And that was only the first hour of my lovely day, which thankfully got much better.

Lately, my new mantra is courtesy of Axl and circa 1989... "...little patience, mm yeah, mm yeah need a little patience, yeah just a little patience, yeah some more patience, yeah need some patience, yeah could use some patience, yeah gotta have some patience, yeah all it takes is patience, just a little patience is all you need"

Patience... and Lysol.

Economical vs Extravagant

2008-12-07T22:47:00.010-05:00

Although my husband and I both earned degrees in mathematics, we are not financial wizards. We signed a 4-year lease agreement on a truck, then used up the mileage allowance in two. We spent way too much on our wedding, and much of the debt ended up on our credit cards. Some of our less intelligent, extravagant decisions have included... 2 kayaks costing $2,000, 2 Devils season tickets totaling $1,800, and here's a good one...we bought a timeshare on our honeymoon.

Bill and I anticipated that surviving on one teacher's salary would be difficult. We budgeted carefully throughout September, October and November. We quit eating out and looked for things to do that were relatively inexpensive. I had one or two tutoring jobs and I taught a 3-hour SAT course each week. We were paying the bills and had just a little left over for incidentals. We were being thrifty and smart and... economical.

Now, in December, we're really getting spoiled. I had eight tutoring jobs last week, five today and I have five more scheduled for the coming week. With all the extra money coming in, we're reverting to some bad habits and some excessive purchases.

Friday Night

Extravagant: Spending $15 on the light display at the Arts Center. Bill and I think this display is getting smaller and smaller each year. We also spent $10 at the 7-11 on hot chocolate and donuts.

Economical: After the display, we found a deserted spot in the parking lot and Bill let Will drive. Although Will enjoyed the light show, he loved sitting on Bill's lap and driving. Cost: $0... or $1.55/gallon, which isn't too bad.

Saturday

Extravagant: We bought tickets to see Disney on Ice at the Prudential Center. Parking cost $20 and while there, we spent $36 on food and treats. We also bought a plastic sword for $16. The sword does not light up and now that we've gotten it home, it's causing all kinds of problems.

Economical: Bill actually found the tickets on Ebay. For the same price as the regular tickets, we got tickets to a private box. And while other parents were spending $20 to get their kids a photo with a character, we had Will sit on the floor next to the promotional posters (see above).

Sunday

Just Economical:

Every year, we go to a local firehouse for a pancake breakfast and pictures with Santa.

For a total of $10.00, we got three complete breakfasts and all the photos with Santa that we could take. Will preferred to stand, rather than sit on Santa's lap and he devoured the candy cane within minutes. Did I mention that the candy cane was free? Cha-ching!

New Rules

2008-12-04T22:07:00.006-05:00

When I was in college, preparing to become a teacher, I took a course called, "Classroom Management". This course was designed to prepare future teachers with different methods of classroom organization and discipline. One of the suggestions offered in this class was a strategy that allowed students in the classroom to make their own rules. For example, during the first week of class, a teacher would solicit suggestions for 'rules' from the students in the classroom. The teacher might post these rules on the blackboard for discussion and then allow the students to select the best ones. This idea always seemed impractical to me-- especially in the high school setting. However, in raising a three-year-old, I decided to revisit this concept. In raising a three-year-old, I'm willing to try just about anything these days.

Each morning at breakfast (as I struggle to get Will to stay seated and eat), we discuss the 'rules' that we are going to try and follow for the day. He's familiar with the concept of rules from school and he seems to thrive on the concept. For example, if Will is jumping on the couch and I tell him to get down, he may or may not respond to me. However, if I remind him about the "rule" about jumping on the furniture, he'll hop off right away. So weird.

This morning, at breakfast, I asked Will to tell me the rules he was going to follow for the day. Below are Will's rules for today:

1) No hitting.

2) No yelling.

3) Sit down while you eat.

4) Don't open your belly.

5) Don't jump and make toys fall on Liam.

6) Don't rip up your napkin.

7) Don't make the snowman melt.

8) Don't say fresh things.

9) Don't bang on the window.

10) Don't break the Christmas tree.

Will came up with these on his own. I'm not sure what #4 means... or #7... but we go with it anyway. (Rule #6 comes from the fact that Will used to shred his napkin into a thousand tiny pieces-- driving mommy and daddy nuts.) Surprisingly enough, making these rules each morning really does seem to set a tone for the day. I make additional suggestions when necessary and Will usually agrees. When he doesn't agree, we discuss it.

For example, tomorrow, new rules will be introduced based on the events of today. Tomorrow we are instituting the new rule about not using Lincoln Logs to create catapults when Liam is also playing on the carpet. (Use your imagination, it wasn't pretty.)

Three Years Ago

2008-12-01T23:47:00.006-05:00

For those of you who don't already know, Will and Liam were born almost exactly three years apart. Will was born on August 7th, 2005 and Liam was born on August 6th, 2008. When I woke this morning, the significance of this day three years ago occurred to me almost immediately.

Three years ago, Will was nearly four months old and we had just spent the holiday weekend in Vermont. It was a busy Monday morning, my first day back at work from maternity leave. I woke up extra early, giving myself time to dress in 'real' clothes, blow-dry my hair, put on make-up and pack lunch. I zipped my sleeping baby into his pram suit and headed out into the cold, dark morning. I drove down the Parkway and transferred my still-sleeping baby into my mother's arms. Back to the car and back to the Parkway, this time creeping north amongst the rush hour traffic. I arrived at school and settled in as best as I could... trying to make copies and gather supplies within minutes of my first class. I spent the day introducing myself to 5 new classes and trying to appear confident, balanced and dynamic. The day was long and at its end, I was headed back down the Parkway to pick up Will and bring him home. A few minutes from home, I recall looking up at the sky and realizing that it was already nearly dark. I remember feeling exhausted and thinking about the tasks that lay ahead-- making dinner, cleaning up, spending quality time with Will, feeding and bathing and getting Will to sleep, planning for my next day of classes.

I balanced being a mom and a teacher similarly for about two and a half years. I was often tired and moody, my house was a mess and I frequently felt overwhelmed-- especially last year when I was pregnant with Liam. Throughout those years, I pictured being a stay-at-home mom once our second child was born. If we had been unable to make this work, I would have been headed to work this morning and juggling childcare arrangements for two children.

Three years later and I spent the day in jeans and sneakers. My kids both woke up in their beds and we took the morning at a leisurely pace. I had breakfast with Will and we talked about Christmas and the upcoming school day. I fed Liam and listened to him babble as I helped Will get ready. We all bundled up and walked to school. I got to watch Will greet his friends and settle in with the activities laid out by the teachers. I got to make small talk with other moms and spend time alone at home with Liam. I got to do some cleaning and some organizing. After picking Will up, I got to discuss the days events with Will while they were still fresh in his mind. Once arriving home, I got to play in the backyard with Will and read him a few books before tucking him in for his nap. While Will slept, I got to give Liam a bath and some tummy time. I got to search recipes on-line and make a shopping list. When Will woke up, I got to give him a big hug and carry him downstairs to play. I got to spend the whole day at home. (I did, however, spend the night tutoring-- trying to supplement our 'single-income'.)

There are so many things I love about being home during the day. It's not always perfect and it's not always easy (as you have read), but it's definitely gratifying. Next year, I could be headed back to work, but this year, there's nowhere else I'd rather be.

A Fresh Start

2008-11-30T23:25:00.007-05:00

We spent the long weekend cleaning up the remnants of Halloween/Thanksgiving and preparing for the upcoming holiday season. We took down the scarecrows and cornstalks, raked the leaves and finally stored the giant light-up jack o' lanterns. We brought at least a dozen big boxes up from the basement and unpacked the tree, the ornaments and countless other holiday decorations that we've collected over the years. We spent these past three days cleaning up and getting a fresh start for the holiday season.

Will was the consummate apprentice, following Daddy around and demanding to 'help'. Liam's needs were easily met and he let his Mom and Dad get lots of work done. We had a fun and productive weekend and happily spent lots of time as a family. One wouldn't have thought this was possible if they had been in our house on Wednesday night.

Wednesday night. I would like to say that Bill and I had an argument. But this was not an argument, this was a fight-- the kind a couple may have once, maybe twice a year. We were both extremely tired and irritable and ended up bickering over something so foolish. We were shouting and making unfair generalizations. We were hurling jibes at each other and pushing one another's buttons. I thought I was right and he thought he was right. Things got really ugly on Wednesday night.

It took about a day for the dust to settle. Bill was up early the next morning and making pancakes. That's because, unlike me, he ~~knew he was wrong~~ is so good at letting negative things go. It took a little while longer for me to come around, but I did. We made up and Wednesday night is history. A few months from now, we probably won't even remember what we were arguing about. The important thing is that we recovered and we were able to salvage an awesome weekend.

Getting through each day, dividing up endless tasks and responsibilities, it's easy to forget how lucky I am. When exhaustion sets in, it's becomes hard to communicate and it becomes easy to focus on the negatives. In reality, Bill is a wonderful father and husband. He is kind and caring. He works hard to provide great things and opportunities for his family. He is patient and supportive and steady. He is honest and funny and generous.

Although I was too senseless and stubborn to say it on Thursday, I want to say how thankful I am to have such a wonderful man in my life.

Here's to cleaning things up and getting a fresh start.

Twenty Things on Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T23:21:00.062-05:00

Throughout the last week, Will and I have been reading books about Thanksgiving and thankfulness. Each night, I asked him to name some things that he was thankful for. I jotted these things down on a sheet of paper that I kept folded in the book.

Here are twenty things that Will is thankful for this Thanksgiving:

1. Scooby-Doo

2. Transformers

3. Trains

4. Mommy & Daddy

5. Liam

6. Halloween

7. Outside

8. Scarecrows

9. Paper

10. Animals that swim

11. Christmas

12. Cars

13. Boys

14. Teachers

15. St. Patrick's Day

16. Whistles

17. Watermelon

18. Ice Cream

19. Birthday Cake

20. Presents

The following pictures were taken at Kevin and Areti's house. My brother and sister-in-law gave us an outstanding Thanksgiving dinner-- complete with a perfectly cooked turkey, real cranberries and 'smashed' potatoes. Will had a great time catching up with his cousin Armando, who is always so patient and sweet. Liam, as always, was a wonderful baby-- happy and content. It's hard to believe that next year, he'll be running around and eating turkey just like his big brother.

Sweet Sixteen

2008-11-26T21:14:00.029-05:00

Liam is sixteen weeks old today!

Here are sixteen particulars regarding our favorite four-month old.

. 1.Liam is a great sleeper. We're talking 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep each night. Too awesome for words.

2.Liam hates tummy time. Within seconds, there's crying. Since this is important for upper body strength, the torture continues.

Liam reaches for and grasps small toys. His movements seem much more steady and deliberate.

4.Liam wears size: 6 months. And he's growing out of these as we speak.

5.Liam has big feet. 'Feetie' pajamas are way too tight and confining. You know what they say about guys with big feet...

6.Liam loves bath time. warm water + baby bath tub = happy baby

7.Liam spurns the pacifier. He looks at me as if I'm trying to shove a giant pool noodle into his mouth.

8.Liam loves mirrors. He is completely fascinated with both his and others reflections. "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the cutest baby of all?"

9.Liam shouts. The soft cooing & gurgling of last month has developed into yelling and hollering. When I go to check what the fuss is about, he's goofily grinning at me.

10.Liam chews...on his fingers... all the time. We think that he's in the beginning stages of teething... or that he's really, really hungry.

11.Liam loves Will. It's apparent that Liam both recognizes and adores Will. Will can almost always bring a smile to Liam's face.

12.Liam likes fast food. Gone are the lesiurely 45-minute lunches. We increased the bottle's nipple size and although it took some geting used to, Liam drinks about 6 oz in 15 minutes.

13.Liam might be lefty. When reaching or grabbing, Liam favors his left hand. Maybe he takes after mommy?

14.Liam loves a good car ride. No matter how fussy or hungry he may be, a good (non-stop) car ride usually calms him right down. He's normally fast asleep in minutes.

15.Liam needs a good laugh. Although Liam smiles with ease-- for anyone and everyone, he has only laughed a handful of times-- usually when he hears someone else laughing.

16.Liam is low maintenance. For the most part, Liam is laid-back and easy-going. He is patient and very good about sitting and amusing himself when mom or dad is tied up. That is, unless he's hungry. Look out. All bets are off when he's hungry.

Shiver Me Timbers!

2008-11-24T23:52:00.012-05:00

"Shiver Me Timbers": akin to "Blow me down!", an expression of shock or disbelief, believed to come from the sound the ship made when 'shocked' by running aground or hit by a cannon blast

On Sunday, after a tutoring appointment, Will and I went to Belmar. Bill agreed to stay home and watch ~~football~~ Liam while he ~~checked his fantasy football status~~ graded papers for school. I thought that it might be unbearably cold and windy, but it turned out to be beautiful.

When we arrived on the boardwalk, Will thought it would be fun to race each other. When that got old, he decided to "race" random joggers who were out for a run. He would momentarily run ahead of them, yelling, "You've got a flat tire!" and "I beat you!" This tired him out pretty quickly.

We then decided to head down to the beach. We collected shells, dug holes in the sand and played "chicken" with the ocean as it approached our feet.

Afterwards, we were headed to the play equipment. Will pretended that the play structure was his house and he gave me the complete tour... "This is my room and this is the kitchen and this is the bathroom...". As Will directed, we had a pretend snack, went pretend potty and took a pretend nap. Will was climbing on and off the equipment as I sat on the steps and watched.

"Mom, I found clues to a treasure. Come on!"

He was standing beneath the grey rock-climbing thing that's pictured above. He was ready to "play pirates". As I joined him underneath, he was pointing to the wall.

"The... map... will... tell... you... where... the... treasure... is..."

He was pointing at the words which were scribbled on the wall and he was pretending to read them. In actuality, the words read "So-and-so loves so-and-so" or "So-and-so was here" or "For a good time call so-and-so". I was busy reading the graffiti when something caught my eye. Off to the side and drawn in thick, black permanent marker was a big...

"Treasure map! Mom, I found the treasure map!"

...penis. My son thought that this lovely artwork was a detailed island map and he traced his fingers along the perimeter.

"Will, umm, come over here."

"Why, mommy?"

"Oh look, I found the X in the sand..."

After finding the "treasure", we rewarded ourselves with some DD (Dunkin Donuts). Coffee for mom and a hot chocolate (half milk) and a "Christmas" (red and green iced) donut for Will. Once returning home, Will went upstairs to take a nice, long caulk.

"Take A Caulk": To take a nap. On the deck of a ship, between planks, was a thick caulk of black tar and rope to keep water from between decks. This term came about either because sailors who slept on deck ended up with black lines across their backs or simply because sailors laying down on deck were horizontal as the caulk of the deck itself.

Liam LOVES This Toy

2008-11-23T10:33:00.000-05:00

Good Days, Bad Days & Mommy Meltdowns

2008-11-21T23:40:00.021-05:00

Thursday was not a good day for Mommy and Will.

Will woke up in an unusually cranky and disagreeable mood.

It seemed like he was intentionally breaking every rule in the book.

Mommy, due to her idiotic preference for reading blogs and wandering Facebook, had gone to bed very late the previous evening. She was exhausted and short-tempered. Her misbehaving toddler wasn't just getting on her nerves, he was trampling all over them.

After multiple warnings and countless "timeouts", after a myriad of bribes and incentives, after many failed attempts at applying a limited knowledge of child psychology, something snapped. Logic, reasoning and restraint went out the window, temporarily replaced by what I can only describe as madness.

Will yelled at mommy. Mommy yelled back.

Will hit mommy. Mommy hit back.

Who was the parent? Who was the mature, rational and sensible adult? For sure, it wasn't me.

I know that I am a good parent. I give my kids plenty of love and affection. I spend time with them, teach them, support them and encourage them. I am normally patient and understanding. I try to be a role model, demonstrating the characteristics that I want them to possess.

But admittedly, there are times when frustration and impatience get the better of me. Times when that red-faced, crazy mom rears her ugly head. And trust me, it's ugly. And afterwards, the guilt is overwhelming.

On this particular day, Will took a 2-hour nap. He woke up and called for me. (We still use a baby gate at his door.) I went upstairs and scooped him up in my arms, giving him big hugs and kisses. Whenever we have a bad day, I always try to discuss it later, when we're both more calm and rational.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you, Will."

"I'm sorry I yelled at you, Mommy."

"I'm sorry I spanked you, Will."

"I'm sorry that I hit."

"Let's try to never do that again, okay?"

"Mommy?"

"Yes, Will..."

"I'm sorry I called you a 'bad mom'." (Oh yes he did.)

"That's okay."

".... and I'm sorry that I said that I not love you." (Ouch.)

"That's okay, I know you love me and I love you."

"Mommy?"

"Yes, Will..."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Being a mom is definitely the most challenging thing I have ever done. The good days are wonderful and the bad days? Boy do they suck. I think the trick is turning bad into good, before chaos ensues. We're working on that.

Four Random Facts Regarding Will

2008-11-19T23:00:00.020-05:00

Four random facts regarding my favorite 3-year-old...

1) Will has become a fruit snack fanatic. When we go shopping, he is generally allowed to select two snacks. He invariably chooses fruit snacks. In our pantry, we currently have six different varieties-- which all taste exactly the same. Although I do feel guilty about feeding his carb addiction, I like the fact that they're a completely mess-free, self-serve snack. They're also fat-free, only 80 calories and they claim to be "an excellent source of vitamin C". These days, in Cara-speak, they're 2 WW points-- how sad that I actually checked, how sad that I've actually eaten them.

2) When potty training, many people advised me to set up books near the potty chair. That way, Will would be encouraged to sit for longer periods of time. During the six months of training (yes, six), Will had absolutely no interest in reading while defecating (pooping, whatever). No interest whatsoever. But apparently, now that we've graduated to the toilet, reading material is essential-- as is a closed door, a foot stool, the proper lighting, and all clothing being removed from the waist down. The current favorite is the Toys R Us Holiday Toy Book. After ordering me out of the bathroom, through the closed door, I hear him yelling, "Mommy, I want this ...and this... and this... I'm done... I want this... and this... Mommy... Mommy..." I open the door. "No wait, close the door, I'm not done..."

3) I finally broke down and bought the Bumbo seat. I contemplated buying one when Will was a baby, but I really dreaded the idea of spending $30 on a piece of foam. This time around, I wanted Liam to be able to sit in the play area with Will and I without being in the bouncer where he is reclined at a 45 degree angle. I figured that the seat would give Liam a different perspective and it would encourage Will to interact with him a little more. (Currently, Will has very little interest in his very little brother.) Unfortunately, Liam has no love for the Bumbo. In fact, he pretty much hates it. From the moment I place him in the seat, he stiffens his body and starts to cry. I'll try again in a couple of weeks, but in the meantime it's getting plenty of use. Will has staked it out as his own and he sits in it and plays with it every day. Yesterday, it was the "wheel" for his go cart and today it was a "spaceship rocket" for his Transformers.

4) Speaking of Transformers...

"Transformers... ching... More than meets tha eye."-- That song is stuck in my head all the time.

And don't even get me started on the nose-picking-- that finger is stuck in that nose... all the time.

Happy Birthday, Anthony!

2008-11-18T23:22:00.001-05:00

Will's cousin, Anthony, turned 3 this week.

The event was celebrated with a party at Chuck E. Cheese.

Unfortunately, I had three tutoring appointments and couldn't make it to the party. Bill accompanied Will while Liam visited with his grandparents.

I encouraged Bill to write this post (since he was the one who was there), but he declined. Well, he didn't actually say no... I think he just laughed at me. Who am I kidding? The man won't even play Scrabble with me.

Here are some pics that Bill took at the party:

Dream On

2008-11-16T23:38:00.005-05:00

I've always been a dreamer in an odd sort of way. I have the tendency to envision future experiences in a completely fantastic way.

Here's one example: Last year, I was pregnant, working full-time and taking care of Will in the evenings. The house was usually a mess and I was always exhausted. In the afternoons, while stuck in traffic, I would imagine my future life as a stay-at-home mom. I would be happy, healthy and well rested. Without the daily work and stress involved with balancing toddler and teaching, I would be eating and sleeping better. So what if our income was cut in half? I would just tutor and we would stick to a budget. The house would be immaculate and I would have time to cook incredible meals. I would never loose my patience with Will or get in absurd arguments with Bill, because life would be so much more calm and reasonable. I'd have time to touch up the paint on the trim and choose a window treatment for the mud room. I'd have lots of playdates for Will and make lots of "mommy" friends. I could get back to reading and playing piano, maybe even take up knitting.

Don't get me wrong. I love being home this year. The reality is good. Just not THAT good.

Liam has been sleeping better for the past week or so and I had promised myself that when I started getting more sleep I would begin to exercise. When Will was a baby, I never thought about exercise in a conventional sort of way. I would just pop him in the stroller and walk, walk, walk-- morning, noon and night-- miles and miles and miles. Seriously. All that walking, combined with watching what I ate, allowed me to lose about 30 pounds in about 5 months. Not exactly an overnight transformation, but well worth the effort. I loved, loved, loved the way I looked and felt-- which is a pretty huge deal. Unfortunately, due to a fun-lovin', stroller-hatin' 3-year-old, we can't do the walking regimen this time around. Instead, I've decided to start running again. If I can squeeze 30 minutes or so out of every day while Bill watches the kids, I think the results will be there.

So, before I continue, here's a quick review of my history with running. In high school, I was one of the kids who opted to "walk" the track rather than actually run or play a sport. (I also ate brownies between classes and ate french fries for lunch-- but those are sad facts for another post.) In college, I started getting more interested in being fit and healthy. I amazed myself by running a whole mile, then two, then three. Then I met Bill and we watched movies and ate Pilsbury every night. (Sigh) Then we got engaged and I was on a mission to lose weight for the wedding... Back to running and working my way up to being faster and running further. After the wedding, I continued to work out, but with a little less intensity... okay, a lot less intensity. Then I got pregnant. So with the exception of running after Will, I basically haven't run anywhere since 2004... okay maybe 2003.

This brings me to my latest fantasy: the running fantasy. I always picture myself running. It's a beautiful sunny day and the scenery is perfect. I'm wearing a great outfit... trendy, comfortable and flattering. My iPod is loaded with the best 'running' music. I'm graceful, with long strides and perfect posture. My 'running partner' is at my side... we're the best of friends who always have time to meet up for a run. I have the time and patience to stretch properly and monitor my heart rate. I'm sweating, but not in a gross way... in that healthy glowy sort of way. So that's my idealistic self-portrait as a runner... complete with fake photo at left.

In reality, I went running for the first time today. By the time I could escape from the house, it was dark out. I had a 1-hour window to drive to the reservoir, run and drive back. The reservoir was well-lighted, but with the exception of the maintenance crew, it was deserted. I stepped out of the car and it was colder than I had expected. I headed up to the path, checked my watch and started to run. As I started running, I noticed two things... 1) My sweatpants were too big...'falling down' too big... and 2) I forgot to put on a sports bra. (That so sucked.) I made it through the first mile, but only in a jog... the kind of jog that you see elderly people do... you know, where your feet barely leave the ground... kind of like a shuffle hop... bottom line, not pretty. Before long, I'm bored. No Ipod... haven't used it in ages and it wasn't charged. Then, I'm winded and I slow to a walk. It's windy and my hands and lips are cold. Another woman approaches me, running. I nod and smile, but she's too caught up in her run to notice. I start running again. I can feel my ass oscillating... depressing, but good motivation to keep running. Nothing hurts, but the breathing is difficult. I manage to get through 2.5 miles before heading home to relieve Bill for hockey practice.

Next time I'll bring the iPod, wear the sports bra and switch the sweatpants. Next time I'll run a little farther, a little faster and a little prettier. Maybe I'll even find that running partner. I never actually think that the fantasy will be the reality, but it's fun to dream, I suppose.

Friday Night

2008-11-14T21:28:00.006-05:00

I'm posting this picture at 9:30 on a Friday night.

I am about to go upstairs and collapse into bed from complete exhaustion.

I think, at this point, my three-year-old has a more active social life than I do.

And I know, for certain, he has a hell of a lot more energy than I do.

What's up with that?

Breaking Bad Habits

2008-11-13T22:35:00.007-05:00

When I went from being a mom of one to being a mom of two, multitasking became a necessity and television became my best friend (and trusted babysitter).

With so much to accomplish in the morning, I fell into the habit of skipping my own breakfast and letting Will eat breakfast in front of the television. It was supposed to be just one half-hour program. With that half-hour, I could feed Liam or empty the dishwasher or do some laundry or pick up around the house. It was quiet and I was productive and before long, Will was asking for just one more show and maybe one after that... and he would just sit there, in his little chair, staring at the screen. With the extra time, I could blow dry my hair or put on some make-up or check my email. The time became addictive, especially if Liam was napping and Will didn't seem to mind.

Currently, however, it has become much easier to meet Liam's needs. I am getting far more sleep at night (knock on wood) and things seem more manageable. Why am I still plopping my 3-year-old in front of the tv with a plate of waffles? Why do I look at the clock and realize, after being awake for four hours, that I haven't eaten anything but coffee and random junk food that's on hand? (It's no wonder that my coffee-drinking, chocolate-eating, dumb-ass got a three-day headache.)

So, as you can see in the above picture, we're turning over a new leaf and trying to do things better.

Rough Night

2008-11-12T04:28:00.002-05:00

This was supposed to be a busy night. I was supposed to pack up the kids and meet Bill at school by 4 pm. We planned to switch cars there so that I could make it to a nearby tutoring appointment by 4:15. I had three appointments scheduled, but was supposed to be home by 8:30 or so.

I pulled up next to Bill in the parking lot. I hopped out of the car (running late as usual) and gave Bill a quick hug. He asked me how I was. "Headache", I replied. I asked him how he was. "Backache", he replied. We exchanged a few details and then we were both on our way. (Ah, the romance...)

My headache became increasingly worse. I considered canceling the third appointment, but I knew that this particular student had a test coming up. As I drove to that appointment, I knew that a full blown migraine was coming on. As I entered the house, something immediately trigged a huge wave of nausea-- a cleanser or disinfectant or something. I sat down for about 5 minutes before excusing myself to go to the bathroom, where I got sick. I struggled through the hour of proof writing and problem solving, making a second trip to the bathroom at some point. When the 60 minute appointment was over, I practically ran out of the house. I got to my car and closed my eyes for a few minutes-- no relief. I rolled down the windows and breathed in the cold air-- still no relief. I dialed Bill on my cell phone. He answered and I described my evening. He couldn't really respond with much sympathy, because he had had a similar night.

Bill's backache had also become increasingly worse. Thankfully, Will had a good night and was content playing with toys and watching television. Liam, on the other hand, was apparently very fussy-- insisting on being carried/bounced around the house. Due to his backache, Bill couldn't meet those demands for long. The result was 1) a screaming, purple baby who collapsed from exhaustion about an hour later and 2) an exasperated, tired and hurting daddy.

After an indescribably difficult car ride, I arrived home. Liam was peacefully sound asleep and Bill was laying on the couch with Will. I kissed them both as I headed directly for bed. I get headaches like these 3 or 4 times a year and the only cure that works is a good solid sleep.

I woke up about six hours later, at about 3 am. Liam was fussing and Bill was hunched over the crib in the dark. I sat up in bed, trying to assess the headache situation. It was gone, for the most part. I scooped up Liam and Bill lumbered back to bed. Liam was headed downstairs for a bottle and a diaper change, which only took a half-hour-- not bad. He was sleepy, so we made our way back up the stairs and I gently laid him in the crib. As I turned, on tip-toes, to leave the room, I heard Liam quietly stir and then I heard an odd gurgling sound. I turned on the light using the dimmer switch. Liam was sleeping, but he had spit-up all over his chin, pjs and blanket and there was also a puddle under his head. So, again, we headed downstairs, this time for a quick wipe-down and a new outfit. Only this time, he wasn't interested in going back to sleep. On the upside, he's not fussy, just wide-awake. On the downside, I am ex-haus-ted-- note the full set of luggage under my eyes.

I'm letting him kick, punch and coo for a little while as I write a quick blog entry. I'm also shooting this quick video before heading upstairs to try and rock him to sleep.

It's nearly 4:30 am, what do you think are my chances of getting to sleep before Will wakes up in two hours? Not good. Not good at all. But did you see those goofy smiles in the video clip? Kind of makes it all worth it, I guess.

Date Night

2008-11-09T15:00:00.006-05:00

My wonderful husband made a suggestion last week. My parents, who had volutneered to take the kids overnight, could watch Will and Liam and we could go out for the night. We set it up for Wednesday night, but we never made definite plans about what we would do or where we would go. The only thing for sure was that Wednesday night (the whole night) was just the two of us (for the first time in TWO years).

Wednesday was kind of a crappy day. It was dark and rainy and I was going on about 4 hours of sleep. Bill announced (on his way out the door) that he would be home late. Will wasn't too cooperative with the before-school morning routine (washing, dressing, eating-- you name it). I arrived at BJ's, with baby in-tow, only to realize that I had left the coupons at home (knew I would hear about that later...). At the pediatrician, Liam received not 1, but 2 vaccinations. After school, Will procrastinated, whined and cried about having to take a nap-- while Liam screamed in the background for his lunch. The two slept simultaneously for about 10 minutes, and then Liam fussed for about an hour and a half (probably due to the shots). As Liam slipped in and out of catnaps, I spent about an hour dragging the bulk purchases into the house, putting them away and doing general laundry, dishes, etc., before Will woke up. Then, while trying to keep both kids amused, I ran around the house trying to pack up their overnight essentials-- multiple outfits (in case of accidents), pjs, bottles and formula, diapers & wipes, toys & books, blanket & stuffed animal, infant tylenol & thermometer (those damn shots!)... Liam finally passed out and I went upstairs to attempt to get ready for the big date. Unfortunately, since Will wasn't into watching television, a shower was not to be had. Instead he followed me upstairs to play piano, turn the lights on and off, experiment with my make up, try on my shoes, flush the toilet, open and close the closet doors... you get the picture. After trying multiple outfits (Damn this post-baby weight and damn that 2 pounds of Halloween candy!) and multiple hairstyles (painfully growing out layers), we were on our way back downstairs to hear the door slam and to hear Liam start crying....

"Hi Sweetie. I'm just going to go up and take a quick shower... Wha-What's the matter?"

The car ride to my parents and then to the restaurant was pretty quiet-- initially because I was insanely cranky, then ultimately because I fell asleep. (Sounds like a promising evening...) After a quick stop for a bottle of wine, we were sitting in an Italian restaurant. Not just any Italian restauarant... one with an autographed photo of "Opie & Anthony" hanging on the wall. (Just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?)

No, but seriously, it did get better. After one glass of wine, the challenges and stress of the day seemed to disappear, along with my irritability. After the second, I was flushed and completely relaxed. By the third, I was having dinner with the most handsome, sexy and charming man in the most elegant place in the world. By the fourth, well, let's just say that one can never underestimate the power of alcohol.

We did have a great night-- and no, it wasn't just the wine. Bill is a wonderful partner and spending some down-time together was heavenly. It was so nice to have some quiet, uninterrupted time alone. We were able to hold hands and gaze at each other across the table. We were able to have meaningful conversation over a good meal. We were able to laugh, relax and enjoy each other's company. (And then we were able to go home and partake in all the shared activities that my husband prefers... just kidding, honey.) The next morning, we both got to sleep in (did I mention...for the 1st time in TWO years?) and we went out for a great breakfast. (The photo below was taken outside the restaurant.)

Now, it's Sunday afternoon. We've spent a busy weekend with the kids, complete with birthday parties, swimming, soccer, shopping and such. It took me three nights to write this post because I was unable to stay awake long enough to put a complete thought together. (Things are back to normal, I suppose.) Just one more thought... I would just like to send out a big thank you to my husband, my parents and the wine (not necessarily in that order) for a wonderful time.

Liam's Three Month Well Visit

2008-11-05T23:34:00.003-05:00

Liam had his 3-month well-visit today.

Look at that belly.

As you can tell, he's doing very well-- hitting all the milestones and gaining weight accordingly.

Here are the stats for this visit:

Height: 24 inches (50th percentile)

Weight: 14lb 12oz (70th percentile)

Head: 16 1/2 in (75th percentile)

Election Day 2008

2008-11-04T14:10:00.009-05:00

This blog has become the story of my life as a mom. Since the election of 2004, my life has changed dramatically. Different priorities, different viewpoints, different experiences-- different election, different me.

Will is three years old. He's thinking for himself, making his own decisions and interacting independently with the outside world. As he grows into his own person, what do I want for him? I want him to be kind and tolerant of differences. I want him to think before he acts and I want him to take responsibility for his actions. I want him to be educated, fair and open-minded. I want him to be compassionate and to help people who are in need. Most importantly, I want him to grow up in a society where these principles are valued. Considering the next four years, I want our country's policies on education, the economy, foreign policy, health care and women's issues to be shaped by these principles.

Will and Liam accompanied me to the polls today and we're going to watch the returns together tonight. I am hopeful that history will be made and that a leader is selected who can unite this country and who can help move our nation in a better direction. Although I am unsure whether my candidate will win tonight, I am confident that change is coming.

Halloween 2008

2008-11-03T22:40:00.008-05:00

If it was up to Will, Halloween would never end. He's been talking about Halloween for the past 11 months and he's already making plans for next year. I took nearly one hundred pictures of this year's festivities, but not one comes close to capturing his joy and excitement.

The holiday began on Thursday, with an official 'Pajama Day'. We spent the day in our pajamas; resting, relaxing and watching plenty of television. That afternoon, we headed over to Aunt Tammy's (in Toms River) for Trick-or-Treating and an afterparty. On Friday, we attended a Halloween parade and party at Will's school. Afterwards, we visited Grandma and Grandpa. Finally, that evening, we met up with Aunt Areti and Armando for more Trick-or-Treating and dinner. Come Saturday morning, we all had a serious Halloween Hangover... too much candy and not enough rest. It was a great 2 days-- and now, nearly three days later, we're recovered. The Halloween decorations are put away, the candy is under lock and key and the costumes are hanging in the back of the closet. As we walked to school today, Will looked up at me and asked, "What's next, mom?"

Pajama Day:

Aunt Tammy's:

School:

Aunt Areti's:

Liam is Twelve Weeks Old!

2008-10-29T23:13:00.010-04:00

Dear Liam,

You are 12 weeks old today. I can hardly believe how fast these past 84 days have passed. 85 days ago we were a family of three-- Mommy and Daddy were sitting in Barnes and Noble, pouring over baby name books and anxiously awaiting your arrival, as Will played at the train table. Now we're a fabulous foursome and your mommy, daddy, and big brother couldn't be any happier.

Physically, you're growing bigger and bigger everyday. You've graduated to the 'size 2' diapers and you are quickly outgrowing your '3-month' outfits. While last month you were only drinking 4 ounces of formula every 2 hours, you're now drinking 5 - 6 ounces every 3 hours. You are, in your mommy's opinion, a perfectly pink, precious and adorable baby.

Your movements are becoming less reflexive and more and more intentional. You still throw out your arms if you feel as if you're falling or if you hear a loud noise (this is pretty often with your big brother around). Your neck is getting stronger and with each day that you lay on your tummy, you can hold your head up for longer and longer periods of time. When awake, your hands are always tightly clenched and you are always kicking your legs. You've mastered the act of bringing your hands to your mouth and you seem to love sucking on your fists.

You've become much more responsive to people's facial expressions and you can easily track objects that move in front of you. You can see people and objects at a far greater distance than last month and instead of staring into the distance, you seem to watch the television or gaze intently at pictures or toys. You smile at the sound of mommy or daddy's voice and you've begun to babble and make certain noises when you are happy or excited-- not laughter just yet, but that's just around the corner.

You love to lay on your back and gaze up at your mobile or hanging toys. You sleep soundly on daddy's chest and you like to watch Will play and dance. You finally seem to be enjoying our daily outings. When we take walks to Will's school or go shopping, you are alert and you seem to soak everything in-- the breeze, the smells, the sounds and the sights. You enjoy warm baths and being bounced around the house until mommy's back hurts. You like to take your time when you eat and you're very patient during the night when you wake up to be fed-- instead of screaming or crying, you tend to whine or whimper. You have a gorgeous smile that lights up the room and a cute dimple on your right cheek. I wish that I could capture that smile in pictures more often, but as soon as you see the camera you gaze intensely and inquisitively at it. You have an incredibly strong grip and you love to squeeze people's fingers and daddy's chest hair (...which makes me laugh and laugh).

You are a wonderful baby and mommy, daddy and Will 'love you alot'.

We can't wait to see what the next month will bring.

Love,

Mommy

Highlights from the Weekend

2008-10-26T23:42:00.012-04:00

As planned (believe it or not), we had a much quieter weekend. On Friday, we went to the Haunted Woods (again!)-- only this time we brought Liam (thanks to the kick-ass baby carrier that Marian loaned us!). This Saturday was Will's first soccer class (hockey ended last week). He had a great time and he's already looking forward to next week. On Sunday, we did the usual swim class and then we were headed to Great Adventure for FrightFest. In between all this, we had a lot of fun moments at home which included...

1) Flipping through the music channels with Will and talking about the different types of music. After I explained the "blues" to Will, he asked me about the "reds". On the "90's" channel, "Losing my Religion" came on and we all danced like Michael Stipe in the REM video. Classic.

2) Playing "Max & Ruby" on the trampoline. Ruby (Mom) rakes the leaves into a pile and Max (Will) jumps into them, messing up the pile and shouting "JUMP!" in that annoying Max voice. (The only people that will truly understand this are parents of children under 5.)

3) Talking to Will about an argument he had with one of his friends on the playground. I'm not sure what the argument was about, but Will was emphatic about what he said: "I'm going to eat you for my dinner, bad boy. Leave my feelings alone."

4) Hanging with Liam, who's getting bigger by the second. When fed between 11 - 12 at night, he'll sleep until about 4:30 am, which is a definite improvement from the 'eating every 2 - 3 hours' schedule that he was following just weeks ago. Below is a video of Liam from Saturday morning (about 5 am). He's freshly fed and changed, and the lights are all off in our living room. At the time I was thinking, "Go to sleep, go to sleep..." But when I saw that wasn't happening, I set the laptop on the couch next to him and used the iSight to shoot the video.

Mom's Birthday Cake

2008-10-23T23:59:00.005-04:00

(Yes, that's a snowman.)

Waaaaaahhh...

2008-10-23T23:53:00.012-04:00

This is what happens when you beat your 3-year-old at "Hide & Seek".

Liam's Bath Time

2008-10-23T11:55:00.005-04:00