Three Years Ago

For those of you who don't already know, Will and Liam were born almost exactly three years apart.  Will was born on August 7th, 2005 and Liam was born on August 6th, 2008.  When I woke this morning, the significance of this day three years ago occurred to me almost immediately.

Three years ago, Will was nearly four months old and we had just spent the holiday weekend in Vermont.  It was a busy Monday morning, my first day back at work from maternity leave.  I woke up extra early, giving myself time to dress in 'real' clothes, blow-dry my hair, put on make-up and pack lunch.  I zipped my sleeping baby into his pram suit and headed out into the cold, dark morning.  I drove down the Parkway and transferred my still-sleeping baby into my mother's arms.  Back to the car and back to the Parkway, this time creeping north amongst the rush hour traffic.  I arrived at school and settled in as best as I could... trying to make copies and gather supplies within minutes of my first class.  I spent the day introducing myself to 5 new classes and trying to appear confident, balanced and dynamic.  The day was long and at its end, I was headed back down the Parkway to pick up Will and bring him home.  A few minutes from home, I recall looking up at the sky and realizing that it was already nearly dark.  I remember feeling exhausted and thinking about the tasks that lay ahead-- making dinner, cleaning up, spending quality time with Will, feeding and bathing and getting Will to sleep, planning for my next day of classes.  

I balanced being a mom and a teacher similarly for about two and a half years.  I was often tired and moody, my house was a mess and I frequently felt overwhelmed-- especially last year when I was pregnant with Liam.  Throughout those years, I pictured being a stay-at-home mom once our second child was born.  If we had been unable to make this work, I would have been headed to work this morning and juggling childcare arrangements for two children.

Three years later and I spent the day in jeans and sneakers.  My kids both woke up in their beds and we took the morning at a leisurely pace.  I had breakfast with Will and we talked about Christmas and the upcoming school day.  I fed Liam and listened to him babble as I helped Will get ready.  We all bundled up and walked to school.  I got to watch Will greet his friends and settle in with the activities laid out by the teachers.  I got to make small talk with other moms and spend time alone at home with Liam.  I got to do some cleaning and some organizing.  After picking Will up, I got to discuss the days events with Will while they were still fresh in his mind.  Once arriving home, I got to play in the backyard with Will and read him a few books before tucking him in for his nap.  While Will slept, I got to give Liam a bath and some tummy time.  I got to search recipes on-line and make a shopping list.  When Will woke up, I got to give him a big hug and carry him downstairs to play.  I got to spend the whole day at home.  (I did, however, spend the night tutoring-- trying to supplement our 'single-income'.) 

There are so many things I love about being home during the day.  It's not always perfect and it's not always easy (as you have read), but it's definitely gratifying.  Next year, I could be headed back to work, but this year, there's nowhere else I'd rather be.