The Defamation of Daddy

Mondays through Thursdays are generally pretty hectic around here.  This week, for example:

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Monday:  Bill works late and gets home at 5 pm.  I leave for tutoring at 5:05 pm.

Tuesday:  Bill works, then has hockey until 7:45 pm.  I leave for tutoring at 8:00 pm.

Wednesday:  Bill works, has a dept meeting and gets home at 4:45 pm.  I leave for tutoring at 5:30 pm.

Thursday:  Bill works, then has hockey practice until 6:15 pm.  I leave for tutoring at 6:30 pm.

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Bill teaches full-time and then coaches ice hockey.  I tutor Sundays - Thursdays and lately I've been booking about 8 - 10 appointments each week.  I usually get home around 10 pm during the week.   

On most afternoons, I try to make dinner and/or bathe the kids before I leave.  However, Bill juggles the bedtime routines on his own.  Both kids are usually sleeping when I get home and only Liam is awake when Bill leaves for work the next morning.

Last week, Liam had a particularly fussy night and I got home just as Bill was tucking Will in for the night.  I went upstairs to say goodnight and I had asked Will what he did that night.  He played Transformers and trains, wrestled with Daddy, watched "WowWowWubbzy", etc.  I asked him if Daddy helped him brush his teeth.  His eyes opened wide as he realized that he forgot and he answered, "Daddy didn't brush my teeth."

Trying to be funny, I used my "mom voice" and turned to Bill, who was standing in the doorway.  "Daddy... you didn't brush Will's teeth?  You didn't brush Will's teeth?!"  

Will thought that this was hilarious and quickly added, "...and now I'm going to get cavities, mom!"

So we brushed and I told Will that if mommy or daddy ever forgot, that it was his job to remind us.  

This week, Will has this new routine that we go through every morning.  When Will wakes up, he puts his arms around my neck and spills the imaginary beans on his dad.

"Mommy, Daddy didn't brush my teeth..."

"He didn't?"

"And he didn't give me dinner..."

"No?"

"And he didn't play with me or help me go potty..."

"Really?"

"And he didn't read to me or tuck me in..."

"What?"

It goes on and on like this until Will runs out of ideas.  Then I get him to confess that Daddy actually DID do all of these things and that he was "just kidding" (which is Will's excuse for a lot of the trouble he gets into lately).

Part of me thinks I should have this big discussion about telling the truth, but another part of me thinks it's so cute.  My poor, tired husband's take on the cuteness of this issue?  Not-so-much.  

Three Years Ago

For those of you who don't already know, Will and Liam were born almost exactly three years apart.  Will was born on August 7th, 2005 and Liam was born on August 6th, 2008.  When I woke this morning, the significance of this day three years ago occurred to me almost immediately.

Three years ago, Will was nearly four months old and we had just spent the holiday weekend in Vermont.  It was a busy Monday morning, my first day back at work from maternity leave.  I woke up extra early, giving myself time to dress in 'real' clothes, blow-dry my hair, put on make-up and pack lunch.  I zipped my sleeping baby into his pram suit and headed out into the cold, dark morning.  I drove down the Parkway and transferred my still-sleeping baby into my mother's arms.  Back to the car and back to the Parkway, this time creeping north amongst the rush hour traffic.  I arrived at school and settled in as best as I could... trying to make copies and gather supplies within minutes of my first class.  I spent the day introducing myself to 5 new classes and trying to appear confident, balanced and dynamic.  The day was long and at its end, I was headed back down the Parkway to pick up Will and bring him home.  A few minutes from home, I recall looking up at the sky and realizing that it was already nearly dark.  I remember feeling exhausted and thinking about the tasks that lay ahead-- making dinner, cleaning up, spending quality time with Will, feeding and bathing and getting Will to sleep, planning for my next day of classes.  

I balanced being a mom and a teacher similarly for about two and a half years.  I was often tired and moody, my house was a mess and I frequently felt overwhelmed-- especially last year when I was pregnant with Liam.  Throughout those years, I pictured being a stay-at-home mom once our second child was born.  If we had been unable to make this work, I would have been headed to work this morning and juggling childcare arrangements for two children.

Three years later and I spent the day in jeans and sneakers.  My kids both woke up in their beds and we took the morning at a leisurely pace.  I had breakfast with Will and we talked about Christmas and the upcoming school day.  I fed Liam and listened to him babble as I helped Will get ready.  We all bundled up and walked to school.  I got to watch Will greet his friends and settle in with the activities laid out by the teachers.  I got to make small talk with other moms and spend time alone at home with Liam.  I got to do some cleaning and some organizing.  After picking Will up, I got to discuss the days events with Will while they were still fresh in his mind.  Once arriving home, I got to play in the backyard with Will and read him a few books before tucking him in for his nap.  While Will slept, I got to give Liam a bath and some tummy time.  I got to search recipes on-line and make a shopping list.  When Will woke up, I got to give him a big hug and carry him downstairs to play.  I got to spend the whole day at home.  (I did, however, spend the night tutoring-- trying to supplement our 'single-income'.) 

There are so many things I love about being home during the day.  It's not always perfect and it's not always easy (as you have read), but it's definitely gratifying.  Next year, I could be headed back to work, but this year, there's nowhere else I'd rather be.