Good Days, Bad Days & Mommy Meltdowns

Thursday was not a good day for Mommy and Will.

Will woke up in an unusually cranky and disagreeable mood.

It seemed like he was intentionally breaking every rule in the book.

Mommy, due to her idiotic preference for reading blogs and wandering Facebook, had gone to bed very late the previous evening.  She was exhausted and short-tempered. Her misbehaving toddler wasn't just getting on her nerves, he was trampling all over them.

After multiple warnings and countless "timeouts", after a myriad of bribes and incentives, after many failed attempts at applying a limited knowledge of child psychology, something snapped.  Logic, reasoning and restraint went out the window, temporarily replaced by what I can only describe as madness.  

Will yelled at mommy.  Mommy yelled back.

Will hit mommy.  Mommy hit back.

Who was the parent?  Who was the mature, rational and sensible adult?  For sure, it wasn't me.

I know that I am a good parent.  I give my kids plenty of love and affection.  I spend time with them, teach them, support them and encourage them.  I am normally patient and understanding.  I try to be a role model, demonstrating the characteristics that I want them to possess.

But admittedly, there are times when frustration and impatience get the better of me.  Times when that red-faced, crazy mom rears her ugly head.  And trust me, it's ugly.  And afterwards, the guilt is overwhelming.

On this particular day, Will took a 2-hour nap.  He woke up and called for me.  (We still use a baby gate at his door.)  I went upstairs and scooped him up in my arms, giving him big hugs and kisses.  Whenever we have a bad day, I always try to discuss it later, when we're both more calm and rational.

.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you, Will."

"I'm sorry I yelled at you, Mommy."

"I'm sorry I spanked you, Will."

"I'm sorry that I hit."

"Let's try to never do that again, okay?"

"Mommy?"

"Yes, Will..."

"I'm sorry I called you a 'bad mom'."  (Oh yes he did.)

"That's okay."

".... and I'm sorry that I said that I not love you."  (Ouch.)

"That's okay, I know you love me and I love you."

"Mommy?"

"Yes, Will..."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Being a mom is definitely the most challenging thing I have ever done. The good days are wonderful and the bad days?  Boy do they suck.  I think the trick is turning bad into good, before chaos ensues.  We're working on that.